I'm crazy. Crazy for feeling so lonely...

This is for you Shea. You promised to pray, so you're getting something to pray for.

I really have nothing planned to do this weekend, so pray that I make wise use of the time to learn some language, make a new friend or two, and deepen a relationship or two. I need to visit my friend Mr. Kelly, hopefully I can get some pool in with the Shark on Sunday, and, Lord willing, maybe I'll learn a word or two of this gloriously awkward language.

So I was reprimanded today for going to see a Willie Nelson concert. I was told that it was "not glorifying to God." When I gave the expected reaction of utter confusion, the initial blow was followed up by "you know it wasn't glorifying to Him." Of course, being the young and disrespectful little you know what I am, I said, "No I didn't know that. You'll have to tell me about it later." So what the heck? What am I supposed to do? What am I supposed to think? Is it wrong to like Willie Nelson? Did I dishonor Christ by going to that concert? First of all, is Willie really all that bad to begin with? I mean, I am a huge Willie Nelson fan. He is by far my favorite country singer. And off the top of my head, I can't think of one song of his that is sexually explicit, anti-Christ, or includes cussing. Secondly, the concert was held in the Tabernacle, in Atlanta, GA. It's an old BAPTIST CHURCH. And thirdly, and most impressively, Robbie Gouge and myself got into this show on sheer determination, a fraternal bond with the scalping community, one desperate white guy, and eighteen dollars in cold hard cash. If God isn't happy with that, I don't know what I can do. So please, give me a break. Can all my heros really be cowboys and yet still be faithful? Can I live in the promisedland and listen to Willie? Are there not seven spanish angels that think it's okay? Everywhere I go, even to the mendicino county line, I wonder, is this Graceland or the city of New Orleans? It's too late. My mama done let her baby grow up to be a cowboy. I'm a highway man and I'm on the road again with Poncho and Lefty. And although it's always on my mind, you won't see these blue eyes crying in the rain, because there's nothing I can do about it now. (If you don't understand the last half of that paragraph, I highly recommend that you pick up the double CD "The Essential Willie Nelson" and give it a listen. It's good music and I think God will be okay with it.)

I was honestly taken a-back by it. I didn't really know how to respond. If I am genuinely in the wrong here, please someone let me know. I am just not seeing it. But until God sends me some sort of message to steer clear of Willie, Waylon, and the boys, I will continue to be a faithful fan and a regular listener. And to those who condemn me for listening to such filth, I leave Willie's own words, "Forgiving you was easy, but forgetting seems to take the longest time."

"Anyone can be a fisherman in May."

-Santiago, in Hemingway's epic novella, "The Old Man and the Sea."

This week has been quite wonderful compared to the discouragement of last week. The weather has been incredible the last three days. It rained for a few days last week and cleared the air of the dust and haze, leaving us high fall clouds, a great view of the mountains, and temperatures about as perfect as they can be. But there's more than the weather to be thankful for today.

Tuesday afternoon I took a trip downtown to talk to some fishing shop owners. I'd passed these little shops before and wanted to stop in to find out where I had to go to do some trout fishing. The first shop I entered looked pretty good, had a wide selection, but nobody in the store paid me any attention. So I shook a little dust off the ole feet and went to the next shop. As soon as I walked in the door I was greeted by two different people who were very eager to talk to me, even though I told them I didn't want to buy anything. When I asked about trout fishing, I got a few answers and a few confused looks. But again, these people were super helpful. They went and got the shop owner from his home to come talk to me. He came, bringing a map of the area, and sat down to talk with me. He told me about a few different places that were good and a few places to avoid. He also told me of a fishing shop on the way to the mountains that sold fly fishing gear. It was ran by a former employee of his. He called the guy up to see how things were doing and to tell him that he had an American friend there (yes, he called me his friend) who wanted to trout fish. He asked if he had all the necessary equipment and when the best time for me to go would be. When I was ready to leave, the shop keeper gave me his personal business card, an invitation to call anytime I needed anything, the name and number of his friend, and he walked me to the door. I never bought or acted like I was going to buy anything, he was just helpful for the sake of being helpful.

It's exciting to mix the things I love the most, preaching the Gospel and being outside. I will go see the shop keeper again, and hopefully if the Lord is willing, I will share with him. Transitioning from fishing to the Gospel is about as easy as it gets. And if I do visit his friend, it would totally appropriate in this culture to stay overnight. You know, there's no way I could spend the night in someone's house, talking about fishing, and not get to the Gospel somehow. I have said it before in the last few weeks, but really, now I feel like I am doing what I came to do. These types of opportunities are what I've been praying for and now they've been given to me. Pray that I take full advantage of it and follow the Spirit's leading in these relationships (there you go Shea).

The whole experience made me well up with pride too, I must admit. I have never met a group of people more fun to be around, more helpful, and more willing to just sit and talk, than fisherman. I will be the first one to tell you that you can't believe half of what a fisherman tells you (which is why you shouldn't believe half of what I say). But what they lack in accuracy, they make up for in volume. I don't care who it is, where it is, or what it is about, a fisherman has a story that is related, and I promise you, it's better than the last one that was told. We're always trying to out-do each other, that's why the fish get bigger everytime we tell the same story. We're not catching bigger fish, so we just make the fish we have caught a little bigger. I think God understands. Not only does He understand, he appreciates it. Nothing proves that to me more than reading about Jesus calling his disciples. It is commonly agreed upon that James and John (the "Sons of Thunder") and Cephas (aka Simon and/or Peter) were part of Jesus' inner circle. They were the Apostles that were closest to Jesus during his time on earth. John refers to himself as "the disciple whom Jesus loved," Peter was the one who walked on the water and who was nicknamed "the Rock" for his confession of the Christ (he's not the Pope guys, let it go), and the three of them witnessed the Transfiguration (which has to be one of the coolest moments in all of history). But you know what else these three have in common? According to Matt. 4, they were all fishermen! That's right, Jesus started this whole show with a bunch of fishermen. So I feel that I'm in good company.

Anyhow, I don't know when I'll actually make it up there to fish, since it's about two hours away and I don't have access to a car. The guy said the best time to go would be in March or April, which is typically the best time for trout fishing. But I may have to go sooner. I'm dying to do some fishing and honestly, I have something to prove. I've been on four different continents and have caught fish on two of them so far (didn't get to fish in Europe yet). But even besides just catching fish in a different place, Santiagos words are true. I need to catch fish in the fall and in the winter, because anyone can be a fisherman in may.

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.

I don't mean to use all these literary classics as blog intros, but they seem to fit. Maybe that's why they're classics after all.

So this weekend was really great, really bad, and really average at the same time. First of all, the great. We had two wonderful times of fellowship with the young people of the church. They have been meeting once a month on a Saturday night for games and worship and this was their weekend. I didn't count how many were there, but it was around 10 or 12, a strong group for this part of the world. They really seemed to have a great time. I say "seemed" because I have yet to learn enough language to really understand what the heck is going on most the time when in big groups. More importantly though, you could see a few of them opening up a little during our prayer time. This is important because, as my roommate has been explaining to me, the young people in this church struggle with fellowship because they are so formal with each other. They have a hard time opening up and being real with each other. Which is why my roomie has decided to invite all the youngsters (when I say this, I mean anyone from 18-35 who's single) over to our place for a meal and fellowship time every other Sunday night. Again, it was a wonderful time of fellowship. Also, after a month and a half of barely a cloud, we've had rain four or five days in the past week and it has turned cool. Nice, cool, dreary, overcast days. I love it. And in case you're unfortunate enough not to have access to ESPN or TigerNet, Clemson did win this weekend. Huge. 52-7. We scored all 7 of our touchdowns rushing the ball, picking up over 300 yards on the ground. And to go along with our dominating performance, Boston College (oh how I hate them) lost to NC State on a last second TD pass. That means realisticly, we decide if we go to the ACC championship or not. BC still has to go to Miami and FSU and is going to host VT later in the year. They will lose at least one of those, probably two, possibly all three. So as long as we can keep winning, we should find ourselves in Jacksonville for a shot at a conference title.

Some of the bad. Well, we finally heard from the guy visiting the Islamic teacher. He is going to continue to see him, and he didn't come to church. He did come to our social thing Sunday night, but did not partake of the Lord's Supper because, in his own words, he is "unsure." It doesn't sound good at all. I found out some other things today that I shouldn't post on the web for everyone to read, but it wasn't good news. It sounds like he may be getting close to being "gone." Obviously it takes a lot to be totally "gone" but he's getting very close to being cast out of the fellowship of people here. It sounds like he is really jumping off the deep end with the Islamic stuff too, but we'll see. On a less serious note, and not nearly AS bad, me and the roomie cleaned the whole house Saturday. I don't ever remember spending that much time cleaning. These people really are clean freaks and even though my roommate claims to be your average bachelor, he's probably one of the cleanest people I've ever lived with. That makes things hard.

Some of the average. I never thought I'd say this, but I watched Fiddler on the Roof the other night. For whatever reason it is my roommate's favorite movie (yes I am living with a guy). He says the people here just really love the movie, that they can relate to a lot of it. Whatever. I think it's safe to say, it won't be making my favorites list anytime soon. Feel free to laugh and make jokes too, I know I would.

Just your average weekend in Central Asia.

You're a Hard Habit to Break

So as all this was going on with the CCC people, there was another dilemma in my apartment. When I walked in the door, my room mate was having a little heart to heart with the White Guy in our living room. I can tell it was something important by the way they were talking, so I just crept on back to my room. I was actually writing the CCC blog during that time and when they were done, they came into my room. The roomie said that he had a lot of work to do, but that me and the White Guy should talk.

Well, come to find out, this is the situation. The White Guy supposedly came to the Lord back in Jan. and has been involved in church and Bible study since. BUT, he is very discouraged right now for a few different reasons. First, and probably foremost, he really wants to get married. I know that may sound a little silly, but you must understand his situation. As a believing man here, you are choosing celibacy as much as you are Christ. There are three single Christian women in this town. Three. The chances of finding a Christian wife are low at best, but realistically, it’s almost none. Along with the wife problem, you must understand a couple other things. First of all, this guy is ridiculed for his faith all the time. He has been laughed at by his coworkers and pretty well ostracized from socializing with people there. Also, and maybe harder, is that he is supposed to claim his religion on his national ID card. You have to show that card anytime you are applying for a job, doing business with a bank, being stopped by the police, etc. That could have very large, and very negative ramifications. To use his words, “When I walk down the street, I do not see anyone who believes as I do. And it’s not that they don’t believe, but that they are against me believing.” It’s very difficult to believe in this country.

But if it was just him complaining about it being difficult, that’d be one thing. The real problem though came when I found out what he’s planning on doing about it. He read the entire Quran on Monday. Of course he didn’t understand it (who can?), so he made an appointment with one of the Islamic religious teachers to discuss what he had read. He says he is searching for God. He believes that if he seeks, God will show himself. However, I mentioned to him that reading the Quran and visiting the local Mosque usually does not qualify as seeking God. God does not dwell in those places. I hope and pray that he realizes this. Because if he is looking to be accepted, then the Mosque is where he will find it. If he wants to marry, following Mohammed will make it easier for him to find a wife. But if he is really searching for truth, then he must come back to the Bible, for that is the only place I have found it.

I write this on Friday. Our conversation was Tuesday night, he visited the Mosque on Wednesday, and neither I nor my roommate have heard from him since. Continue to pray.

Great Expectations

So I had interesting evening tonight. First of all, the new CCC people are in town. Two single guys, two single girls. They swear it wasn't set up that way, but I know how these Christian organizations work. J-MAN+J-WOMAN=Career COUPLE, with a little work. But I digress. We had a pleasant time together I think. I say I think because I had a great time, but, as usual, the verdict is still out on what everybody else thinks. First of all, I did a lot of talking. I was aware of it at the time, but they just kept asking me questions and didn't allow me to find out anything about themselves. This type of situation is never good for me. When people ask me questions, I give them my best answers. That doesn't go over so well with everyone on every question. Generally, the more I talk, the more likely someone is to NOT like me. Key example: All four of the CCC people are from the midwest. I said that the beef didn't taste like the corn feed stuff we get in America. So I asked if they thought the lamb was pretty good. Honest question. But one of the girls got a little red in the face, giggled a little, and the other one patted her on the back and said, "Sue here is a vegetarian." Of course, as only C-Love would say, the first thing out of my mouth was, "You're kidding me right?" Her answer was, "No, I ate chicken the other day and it was a very traumatic experience." Good grief, where do you get these people? I gently reminded her of the passage in Acts where Peter is really hungry and goes up on the roof to pray. He gets a vision from God showing him all the animals, both clean and unclean, and God issues a command to Peter, "Arise, kill and eat." Amen I say, Amen! She didn't agree and the conversation went on to deeper things, meaning I was digging myself deeper into a hole.

I went with the guys back to their apartment to chill for a little while and to just get to know them a little bit. After some shallow conversation one of the guys (who was quite excited at the time) asked me what my expectations were for my time here. "Expectations?" I asked. "Yeah, what do you expect to see God do while you are here?" I don't like this question. I am starting to hate to hear it. It is a question that I think has no right answer, and no matter which way you miss it, you are setting yourself up for hard times. If you say that you expect God to do amazing things, saving dozens, and starting a church planting movement, you are setting yourself up for disappointment if God does not come through for you. If you say you expect to see God save a few, maybe three or four, during your time, yes you are being more "reasonable," but even then your expectations may not be met. This is a hard place, and has been for a long time. Having "realistic" expectations and then still not having them met, may be worse than having high expectations. And lastly, if you say you don't expect anything from God, I ask, where is your faith. I expect something out of God, you must, or you rob God of his power. But what then should I expect? Should I expect a cold, hard, dark place to start bursting with life and light? Do I think I am any smarter, or wiser, or any more filled with the Spirit than the men and women who have gone before me, seeing no fruit? Or should I expect nothing and just be thankful when something happens? Then is my God "able to do immeasurably more than I could ever hope or imagine?"

I have prayed for big things, and I have prayed for small things. I have hoped for big things and I have hoped for small things. I have expected big things and I have expected small things. In all these cases, some of these were aligned with God's will, and some were not. Some came to fruition, some still have not, and some may never. I have found in my short time as a believer that a lot of times, my desires don't align with God's still, and sometimes the expectations I put on God are not Biblical and therefore, not healthy. I still can't tell you what "Biblical expectations" are, and I don't know if I ever will be able to. We worship a God that is able to do anything, yet in his sovereign good pleasure does not do everything. How to balance the belief that God can work miracles with the Biblical truth that sometimes God holds his hand back is difficult at best. I feel myself falling towards a lack of faith sometimes and at other times I find myself throwing caution to the wind knowing that my God can pick up the pieces later.

This is a hard place and has been for some time. There are places in the world where the Gospel is spreading like wildfire. This is not one of them. I knew that coming here. I also know that Nineveh was a hard place and Jonah was a hard man and that God did great things with the two of them. So I don't know what will happen while I am here. I may spend these years here plowing ground and planting seeds that may not grow for generations. I may labor with my brothers here to just keep what growth there is alive. I will thank God for that opportunity. Or I may spend these next few years gathering the harvest that so many faithful brothers and sisters planted and watered long ago. God may grow it up and allow me to be part of something truly amazing. I will thank God for that opportunity. I could spend these next few years a million different ways and I have no idea what it will be like. I will just live it. And until my desires and my will and my expectations are more in line with God's, I'd rather not start telling the eternal God what I, a mere man, expect out of him.

Reaching for the Stars

I like to keep track of some of my personal stats to track how I'm doing in life. There are those records that I've set that I just don't think will ever be broken by myself again, though they may, it's not impossible (ie. not showering for 37 consecutive days, eating at least one pack of Ramen noodles for 10 days straight, and eating a large meat lover's pizza (not one of those thin crust jobs neither) from Pizza Hut by myself in one sitting). Today, I raised the bar on another record of mine, and I may have put it out of reach this time.

In America, you can find churches that start at all hours of the day on Sunday. You've got the truly faithful that still get there at daybreak for early worship and you've got the ones who like to have a nice brunch before coming to their casual, contemporary worship experiences. There are good and bad to both, but one thing remains constant, I have overslept them all. I've attended churches that asked you to be there at 7:30 AM and I've attended churches that didn't start until 12:30 PM, and yes, I've overslept the service at each of them at least once. First of all, I never thought I would attend a church that started later than the 12:30 start I found, but alas, living in a different country has opened my eyes to so many new things. My church here doesn't start till 2:00 in the afternoon. It's really wonderful. You're awake, you've had lunch but long enough ago that you're over the food coma that comes with it, and it's in the heat of the day, when it's really nice to be sitting in the AC for a while. And faithfully and joyfully, I have been there on time, every week, until today.

If you didn't read my post below or your local sports page or anything else worth reading today, then you may not know that your Clemson Tigers upset #9 Florida State in a stunning fashion last night. Well, at least it was last night for the two teams. It was after 6 AM local time when the game ended, and the sun was already up. Of course I couldn't go to sleep right away with the adrenaline of a solid victory still flowing, but when I finally did get in bed close to 9, my alarm was set for 12:30, with plenty of time to shower and get to church on time. However my alarm was no match for a nice breeze, my Mexi-blanket, and visions of James Davis dancing in the end zone. I slept right through it and awoke just in time to watch the clock click over to 2 PM and another of my personal records fall.

At times like these, I'm full of mixed emotions. There's a little sadness in seeing a record fall. Something you've known to be true for so long is not so any more. But there is joy in knowing that you are never done learning and improving as a person. With the victory over the old self, I am filled with the excitement of possibility. If I can oversleep a 2 PM church service, who knows what else I can do? Maybe I can learn Turkish? Maybe I will write that book I've been dreaming of writing? Maybe I can wear one pair of underwear for the entire month of Ramadan coming up? The possibilities are endless.

I got two words for you, JAMES DAVIS

Granted, it was not his best game, no far from it. But when the game was on the line, ole JD came through.

As much as I couldn't believe how we lost last week, I can't believe how we won this week. First of all, we held their offense to a touchdown and a field goal, yet they still scored 20 points. That's a relatively normal looking score until you consider how they accumulated it. They got 2 pts for a blocked PAT return, scored a TD on a blocked FG return, and converted a 2 pt conversion of their own after their one offensive TD. I did not watch the game for obvious reasons, but I did see some highlights this morning on ESPN.com. On both of their blocked kicks, it looks like two or three different guys could've blocked it. We weren't blocking anyone. The guys who did get the blocks honestly could've probably tackled the holder if they wanted to. That's pathetic. As silly as it looked and sounded, it made me extremely happy to hear Bowden say he would not kick it in the second half because if you look at the stats, they only had 204 total yards from scrimmage, and over a 100 yards on blocked kick returns, which accounted for half of their scoring. Our kicking game was their best offense.

But luckily, that was where the complaints end. Even though score wise they did keep it close in the first half, we absolutely dominated them. At halftime they had only gained 80 yards from scrimmage and we had held on to the ball for 11 minutes of the 2nd quarter. We came right back out in the 3rd on our first possession and added another TD almost effortlessly. Then, the FSU defense showed up and really slowed us down for almost the rest of the game. But our defense, despite it's injuries, isn't all that bad itself. Faced with AWFUL field position the entire second half, they managed to hold FSU to just one TD and one FG. Holding Florida State to 11 pts in a half is good, I don't care who you are. When you consider that FSU was getting the ball at midfield almost everytime as well, it makes it even more impressive. In the end Florida State had only 102 rushing yards and 102 passing yards, 204 total yards. Again, that ain't bad I don't care who you are. We sacked Drew Weatherford four times and forced him to scramble for little or no gain another 5 or 6 times. Our defense caused four fumbles as well, recovering on two of them. For a defense that has lost three big time starters and had two other players nursing injuries, they played well, very well. As for the offense, they didn't do too bad themselves. Playing what many consider one of the best defenses in the nation, we managed to rack up 345 yards of offense and do enough to win ourselves the ball game. The Noles seem to control the line of scrimmage for most the night, holding us to 151 yards on the ground. Though that sounds like a lot, over half of it came on three runs, a 38 yarder by Jacoby Ford in the 1st quarter, a 20 yarder by Proctor in the 3rd, and a 47 yarder by James Davis in the 4th. Will Proctor was pressured at times during the game too, but was fairly effecient at 16-30 for 194 yrds. He threw one beautiful TD pass to Chansi Stuckey, had the 20 yrd run for a TD, and threw no interceptions (though it sounded like FSU dropped one that should've been). We seemed very impressive in the first half, but got stagnant for most of the second half. But Rob Spence proved to me why I love him on the last drive. First of all, FSU tied it at 20 and everybody could feel the game just slipping away, everybody but Gaines Adams I guess. He led our defense to force two straight three and outs on FSU in the 4th quarter when the Noles had the ball at midfield with all the momentum. But the second punt gave us the ball at the 15 yard line with 2:22 left to play and you could see the twinkle in Rob Spence's eye I'm sure. 1st and 10 saw James Davis rush for 2 yards. 2nd and 8 saw James Davis again, this time for 14 yards. Then Proctor found Aaron Kelly for a 18 yard pass out to the 49 yard line. That's when Rob Spence made me fall in love with him all over again.


He called in a no huddle, quick snap that caught FSU just standing around and allowed James Davis to take it 47 yards down to the 4 yard line. And if you're thinking we had this same scenario last week with a chance to win but choked, you're right, but apparently Spence learned his lesson. Three hand offs to James Davis later, a PAT that was thankfully good, and your Clemson Tigers had the lead with :08 showing on the clock. It was amazing.



After the game I just sat and stared at the screen much like last week, jaw open and in unbelief. Only this week, I couldn't believe how we had WON.

Spoon in spoon, stirring my coffee

From hand to hand/Wrists to the elbow/Red blood sand/Could dad be god/Crosses cross/Hung out like a wet rag/Forgive you why/You hung me out to dry

Maybe Im a little crazy/But laughing out loud/Makes it all pass by/Maybe we're all a little crazy/But laughing out loud/Makes the pain subside

Spoon in spoon/Stirring my coffee/I think of this/And turn to go away/But as I walk/The voices behind me say/Sinners sin/Come now and play
-David J. Matthews with Alanis Morisette

I felt like being a little dramatic today. Yesterday I spent the afternoon with our "member care" people. They're a staff couple in the country to help people like myself through hard times. They're there to talk to you when your down and lonely, or to pray with you when something terrible or traumatic happens. Generally, they're just trying to keep people from going crazy. Luckily, I don't have any major issues in my life right now that needed to be discussed, so it was a rather enjoyable afternoon. I hope they felt the same way, because we spent an awful lot of time together for them to be bored. But, since nothing came up, I almost feel let down, like I should've had something wrong with me to talk about. I mean, that's what these people are paid to do, talk to people about their problems. The only ones I could think of dealt with showering regularly and what kind of meat I bought the other day (it's good, but I have no idea what it is). Oh well, give me a few more weeks, I'm sure some screw will come loose.

Today was a very average day. What I mean by an "average day" is that I spent almost 8 hours trying to learn another language from a guy who barely speaks mine. Today was mostly just reviewing stuff I had already "learned" but hadn't quite yet mastered. We got in a huge argument over the correct way to conjugate the future tense of verbs, an argument I actually was right about. Granted, I still know next to nothing, but it felt good to actually know what I was talking about once. My language study also includes reading through chapter after chapter of the New Testament in Turkish. If you thought Romans 9 and 10 were hard to understand in English, try it in Turkish!!! But it is very helpful and I appreciate his willingness to come by and stay with me during the day.

I also got an invitation to my first party. Sounds like I'll have to show them how an American parties! "We're coming to your town, we'll help you party down, we're an American band!" -GFR

A Week of Anniversaries

Two big ones were this week already. The first, and biggest, was 9-11. It really doesn't seem all that long ago that I was waking up in Calhoun Courts, N3G, turning on my computer and seeing Spautz' away message that said "They're attacking us," and included a link to cnn.com. I had no idea what it was about, but when I tried to click the link, the CNN website wouldn't load. I went into the living room and turned on the TV in time to watch the second plane hit the Towers. It was, and still is, unreal. So many thoughts went rusing through my head that day. Would it be the beginning of the next World War? Could this be the beginning of Armaggeadon? Would there be a draft? It sounds almost silly now, but at the time, nobody knew what was happening. All we knew was that there had been planes flown into the World Trade Center towers, and the Pentagon. The WTC was the most deadly and most devastating. But for me, knowing that someone had sent a plane into the Pentagon, the center of American intelligence and military, was the most shocking. If that could be done, what else could happen, and when? It was a scary day. I remember walking around in a daze, everyone did, surrounded by people and yet somehow still alone. Everyone was numb, but not because they had no feeling, but because of too many feelings. It was the feeling you get when you've been punched really hard in the face. You know it hurts, and will hurt for a while, but at the time, you feel nothing. That was five years ago.

The second anniversary this week was my One Month in the Country-versary. One month ago today I stepped off the plane into the next chapter of my life. It carries it's own set of emotions. On the one hand, it's sad to leave so many friends and family for such a long time. I think back, a year ago yesterday I was at Red Rocks Amphitheatre, listening to an amazing Dave Matthews Band concert, with two of my best friends, and a new, but good friend outside of Denver, CO. The next day I was wading through a stream shocking fish for the Div. of Wildlife before seeing another amazing show at Red Rocks. Now look at me, just a year removed from that day, but literally half a word away from that place and those people. So much happens so quickly in my life. This time here will be the most time I've spent in one place continuously since I left for college. I know that I have changed as a person more than my circumstances have changed. Two years ago I was immature and unsure in my faith. I had just started to find answers to some very important, but amazingly basic questions about my God. Now, though still learning, I have quite a bit of understanding, and I am trying to impart that to people here. And that's the flip side to the sadness of leaving one place, the excitement of going to another. In one month I have made some very good friends here. I've met dear brothers in Christ who have encouraged me in my faith and amazed me with theirs. What they lack in knowledge, they more than make up for in their devotion. To follow a God that is totally despised by their country, to be exiled by their families, to have little hope of having a family of their own, to suffer in trying to find work, to just claim Christ in land where it could possibly cost you your life to do so, that more than compensates for any lack they have in knowledge. This is what excites me, to be here, among these people, working hand in hand to get the message to their countrymen who have yet to hear the Good News of Jesus Christ. It has only been one month today, and I can't wait to look back two years from now and praise God for what he has done in my life while I was here, because at the pace things are going, there will be plenty to thank Him for.

How did that just happen?

This post is pure emotion with no thought involved. If you don't care about Clemson, there's no real reason to read it, unless you just enjoy watching me suffer.

How did we just lose that game? We held them to a stinking field goal in the first overtime! We have a first and goal at the 2! All we needed was a handoff to James Davis and we win!!! Instead, we go backwards and kick a field goal. Then our boys come right back and do it right, getting it down to the 1 after having a 2nd and 26. But this time, instead of trying to be cute, we just hand it off to James Davis and score the TD. Then Jad Dean comes on to tack on the extra point and has it BLOCKED!?!?! You've got to be kidding me. Everybody on the field knows the game is on the line guys, be a man and just hit somebody on the line. There's no reason for any of those defensive linemen to be standing up straight! Knock em on their rears!!! And hey Jad, you're on the 3 yard line, just kick it high! It should never be low enough for somebody to get their hands on anyway! Give me a break guys. These are the types of ball games that good teams are supposed to win, not let slip away at the end. We were 7-4 last year, but we were much better than that. 4 losses by a combined 16 points. Did we not learn anything? Spence, did you not see James Davis rush for almost a hundred yards on these guys in regulation!? Just give him the ball!!!! I love you Rob, I really do, but come on man, those were three of the goofiest play calls I have ever seen, well, at least since last years BC game where you were ripped for your play calling too. Get it together guys. We can still win at Tallahassee next week. This game was ours and we just gave it away. Don't let what could be a great season turn into last year.

And for the love of everything holy, somebody punch Ron Cherry for me. Hamlin's INT keeps us from even going to OT.

This is the maddest and most disappointed I have been since the GT game from 2001. You owe me one Tigers.

Holla at ya boy!

I thought I'd let y'all in on a couple things that have happened recently that have reminded me that from time to time, I am cool. Granted, it's not often, consistent, or really of note when it does happen, but it does happen. The first instance was last night, listening to my iTunes on random. A song came on that I really like and I just looked up and saw what the next few songs were as listed in alphabetical order and was surprised. If all you saw was that portion of my playlist, you might actually think I'm cool. Here it is: "Thank You (Fallettinme Be Mice Elf Agin)" by Sly and the Family Stone; "All Star" by Smashmouth; "1979" by Smashing Pumpkins; "Drop It Like It's Hot" by Snoop Dogg; "I am a Man of Constant Sorrows" by the Soggy Bottom Boys; "Black Hole Sun" by Soundgarden; "Magic Carpet Ride" by Steppenwolf; and the grand finale, "Mr. Roboto" by Styx. Don't act like you're not impressed. The other thing that made me think I was cool happened today. After frying my brain with the Shark and the White Guy trying to learn this language, I was sitting on the couch staring at some pictures my room mate had up on the wall. They are all pictures out of some calendar he had. The White Guy asked me what I was thinking about and I told him that I was thinking about the pictures, and how I had been to so many of the places. He asked me which ones, so I went up and pretty much told him my life story through the pictures. One was of the low country somewhere in the South, could've been South Carolina, but definitely somewhere in the South where I grew up. The next was of the Tetons. I spent a summer in Yellowstone during college and saw Grand Teton from as close as you could get without actually climbing it, hiking a smaller (but still over 13,000 ft) mountain on the Idaho side of it. Then there were three that were generic Rocky Mountain pictures of Aspens and Spruces. It could've been anywhere in WY, MT, or CO, all of which I have spent a fair amount of time in. And the last one was of an arch in Arches National Park, which I visited during my six months in Grand Junction, CO. All totaled, of the 9 pictures on his wall, I had been to places in 6 of them. The other three? The Great Wall of China, the Sahara Desert, and what looks like Scotland or Ireland. I felt pretty cool.

And really, this is a pretty selfish post I know. But I thank God that He has allowed me to experience such a wide variety of things in my life and met such a wide variety of people from such a wide variety of backgrounds in such a wide variety of places. Obviously, this blessing is still being given, and I hope it continues to be poured out on me. I've had a very exciting life so far, and that's the only way I would have it. Maybe I will write it down in a book someday for people to read about, or maybe I'll pass it along to my kids at bed time (assuming a wife and kids is part of this blessing), or maybe I'll just keep it to myself as a reminder to be thankful for what God has given me, even if it is all taken from me tomorrow. For it is written, "Naked came I from my mother's womb, and naked shall I return. The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away; may the name of the Lord be praised." Job 1:21
PEACE!

Are Evangelicals and Catholics Together?

Who the heck knows? If one of you reading this does, please let me in on it. I've had this discussion twice today and still don't know if I am correct. For what it's worth, here's what I know and think.

The Catholic Church does not preach the true Gospel. I've heard this explained many different ways. I think R.C. Sproul said in one of his books that it was a faith+works salvation. That faith in Jesus was just the first step in a process of salvation or something to that extent. The historic, reformed view of salvation has been "by grace ALONE, through faith ALONE, in Jesus ALONE," and that Catholics take out the "alones." My boss here says it's a matter of authority. That the Catholic Church believes in the Bible, but also in itself, meaning that the ultimate authority is divided between Scirpture and Church tradition. Also, I know there was an attempt a few years ago at finding common ground (called Evangelicals and Catholics Together). Some prominent people signed onto it from the Evangelical side (J.I. Packer being the one that comes to mind), and some prominent people blasted them for it (the book by Sproul I read was that blasting). So who's right? Is there common ground or do we have to compromise the Gospel to get there? The only two people I know that grew up in the Catholic Church are both now Christians, and neither one attends a Catholic Church. So what the heck. I don't know. Any help on this issue would be greatly appreciated.

And on a brighter note, Clemson destroyed FAU last night as planned, 54-6 (I had predicted 45-10, with a kick return for a TD I might add). It wasn't a very pretty win, we did make a lot of mistakes, but it was a solid win none-the-less. We'll really see what we're made of next weekend in Boston. I'll pray about it (aka wait and see how bad Anthony Waters hurt his knee) for a few days before I come out with my prediction.

One last thing. I have to say that today was the second time in three weeks that I have gone straight from church to the pool hall. It seems odd to be the last to leave church, sitting around having chai and talking, then taking a short walk, going down a flight of stairs, and being in a smoky pool room with Shakira blaring on the sound system. I love it. Especially when my team wins, which we did today.