Is this year over with yet?

Goodbye 2006. You have been nothing but a pain for me. I will always look back on you as being one of the worst of my life. There will be nothing good ever said about you. May you be a curse from generation to generation.

Why the unbridled hatred directed towards such an innocent thing as a calendar year? Because Clemson lost, again.

It was good enough for us to rise to #10 in the nation, with a 7-1 record, and then fall, miserable and pathetically, to 8-4, just missing a trip to the ACC championship game and losing to our archrivals. No, 2006 had one last kick in the groin for me. I had to watch Clemson lose to Kentucky. Yes, I am talking about football here, not basketball. KENTUCKY!!! Why? I do not know. First of all, I knew Kentucky would be able to throw the ball on us. Our defense has been a little soft as of late, our secondary is our weakest spot anyways, and on top of that, our best cornerback was arrested last week for possession of marijuana. They did. What I didn't expect was that we'd abandon the run so completely. I mean, James Davis and CJ Spiller are not called "thunder lightning" for nothing! Between them I think they ended up with just 13 carries. Why? Rob Spence, you completely baffle me at times. Oh yeah, another thing I did not expect, though looking back, I can't remember why not, is that Jad Dean missed two more field goals. Jad, you will not be missed. If that wasn't bad enough, he was pulled from the game, and after our first TD some other hack came off the bench to shank the extra point. Heaven help us all. You know who else hasn't made my Christmas card list? Will Proctor. If I had a dollar for everytime I shouted "Proctor you are awful" at the computer screen this year, I'd be a rich man. It's a two point conversion Will. You can't just run the ball out of bounds! Just throw it up for crying out loud! Give a guy a chance!

You're (speaking to the entire 2006 Clemson football team here) killing me guys. Like I didn't have enough on my plate trying to live a righteous life in a sin stained body, living in the Muslim world and trying to find God's elect that are being held captive here, trying to sort through various emotions, thoughts, and feelings that come with living in a foreign land far away from friends and family. Don't worry about me. Just throw on to all that the most disappointing Clemson football team to have ever put on those orange jerseys. I can handle it.

And way to go Houston. 1st and goal at the 8 turns into 4th and goal at the 50? That's the first time I've ever heard of someone punting on 4th and goal. The worst part? You lost by a TD, the TD you should've scored on that 1st and goal from the 8 play. Man I hate the University of South Carolina.

Merry Christmas from the Family!

Carve the Turkey
Turn the ball game on
Mix margaritas when the eggnog's gone
Send somebody to the Quickpak Store
We need some ice and an extension chord
A can of bean dip and some Diet Rites
A box of tampons, some Marlboro Lights
Haleluja everybody say Cheese
Merry Christmas from the family

If you don't know how Robert Earl Keen is, go buy his CD, "The Party Never Ends." It's a classic.

So what was my first Christmas like away from home? I'll give you the rundown...

Friday: White Elephant party at the Co-Op School. Laughed so hard I thought I would cry. Afterwards I made a trip to the symphony orchestra. The music was incredible, the atmosphere was not. There was a college aged girl to my left talking on her cell phone when it started, a kid standing up his chair and talking in front of me, and a grown man behind fell asleep and was snoring very loudly near the end.

Saturday: Finished Christmas shopping. Had a Whopper at Burger King. Went to the V's Christmas Party and explained the meaning of Halloween to some Turks (I do what I can). Hung out there till late and headed home.

Sunday: Went to the International Church to videotape the V kids and the Boss' kids in their Christmas play. Left there and got to my church in time to make tea. We did our Christmas program. Sat around afterwards and talked to a man from the Bahai faith that I found out later has been excommunicated from other churches in the country for trying to preach his own deranged message. Went to dinner with seven other "youth" (remember, anyone between 21 and 45, married or not) and had a sweet time of fellowship that included a lot of laughs. Went home, grabbed all my gifts, and headed to the V house. Played some X-Box (I'm on a two game winning streak against the 7th grader), some backgammon, and finally the kids went to bed.

Monday: I'm going to start Monday here, even though Sunday and Monday kind of run together. You see, I stayed up all night talking to people on the V's Vonage phone. First it was Grandma. She was missing me pretty bad. She also confessed to feeding my dog table food. My dog is going to be so fat. Then I talked to my Dad. He was going to visit one of his girlfriends (I'm not making this up). Then I called my buddy Paul, who I found out, is now engaged. We talked for a couple hours. I got to meet his fiance for the first time. By this time the sun had come up and so had the V clan. So when they all made it downstairs, we exchanged gifts. We sat around talking and laughing and playing some games. The boys put in one of their new movies and I finally got to sleep, though only for an hour. We all went to another couple's place for snacks and conversation. We stayed for a few hours before heading to the Boss' house for a big dinner with the team and some people from the Air Force base. It was so wonderful. Not only did we have some of the best fellowship I've had in a long time, but we laughed till my face hurt, and on top of all that, we had HAM and DR. PEPPER!!! We ended up sitting around and talking till 11, when Papa V gave me a ride back to my place.

All in all, it was one of the best Christmas' I've ever had. And before you go thinking that I'm just saying that to try and talk myself out of being homesick, let me tell you two little stories that still bring tears to my eyes now, as I type this. Sunday evening, Papa V got all the kids together down in the living room for their family Bible reading. He read the Christmas story from Luke and gave a little talk about it. I had little Tom Tom cuddled up on my right, Stevo on my left, and all the other kids sitting around. Everyone prayed and we all went back to what we were doing. It may not sound like much, but that is something I have never had and never been a part of. It's something that I've always dreamt about, but never thought was actually real. I didn't know there were men in this world that actually did those types of things with their families. It was precious. The other story is later that night, when it was getting close to midnight. Something was said that reminded me of a story. As I told the first story, all the kids gathered round to listen. So when I finished, they all wanted to hear another one. Well, I'm full of stories, and I love to tell them. So the two big kids pulled up chairs. Stevo sat on the arm of my chair, and little Tom Tom, as cute as can be, curled up in my lap with his head laying on my chest and started to fall asleep as I told stories. For those of you that didn't really know me before, I'll just say that me and kids never really got along so well. And to have these four kids gathered round me with little Tom Tom curled up in my lap and listening so intently to what I had to say, it was just too good to be true. It was these little times that really made this one of the best Christmas' of my life.

And for everyone who needs something to smile about this Christmas season, here's Tom Tom and the Boss' son to cheer you up a little...


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Oh, the Possibilities!

So I've got a little bit of disappointing news. The village trip we were supposed to take this week didn't happen. "Why?" you ask. Sit back and let Mr. Chris tell you a story.

Alright, first, the characters: Myself (C-Love), the Boss (my boss here), the Brain (another teacher in our school), Pinky (the Brain's wife), Amen (a local Turkish Christian), Solomon and Zechariah (the two guys we were going to visit), Kansas (what I will call the village we were going to visit), and the BCC (Bible Correspondence Course, a program for people who want information about the Bible). For the background, check two posts down.

So the Boss and I were headed to Kansas this week to meet with Solomon and Zechariah. I met the Boss at the office and we were set to leave around 11. The Boss was watching a show about the NBA and wanted to see what they had to say about the Allen Iverson trade, since he's from Philly. As soon as it ended, we were going to leave. Just as the segment on AI starts, the Boss' phone rings. It's the Brain. The Boss and the Brain talk for a while and then the Boss calls some other guy (turns out it was Amen) and talks to him for a while. When he gets off the phone he tells me that we're not going. Of course, my first question is, "Why?" Here's the story. Pinky and Amen were just talking that morning about what had been going on lately. Amen says to her, "Do you know anyone with the BCC named Henry?" Pinky says, "No, I don't. Why?" Amen says, "Because I was told someone from here named Henry was going to Kansas to visit two guys. If you find out who it is, let me know." "Will do," Pinky tells him. So Pinky goes home to the Brain and tells him of this strange conversation about the mysterious Henry. The Brain says, "I don't know any Henry, but the Boss and C-Love are supposed to be going to Kansas this week to meet with someone. I wonder if that's who he meant?" "I don't know," Pinky replied, "but I think you should call Amen, he seemed worried." So the Brain calls Amen and is told that the two men, Solomon and Zechariah, are bad guys. Apparently Amen had met with them already and found out that they were part of a religiously conservative and anti-American political party that is based in Kansas. Amen didn't think it would be very wise for two very white men to go driving into their village to meet with these guys, so he told the Brain to pass the word to us.

So that's the story. The Boss and I talked it over later, and before you get all "Oh my gosh that's so scary" on me, let me explain a couple things. First of all, Turks overreact to just about everything. I've witnessed this on numerous occassions in my time here. If something happens, either good or bad, there is a strong tendency to blow it out of proportion. Secondly, Turks are very suspicious and untrusting people. They trust no one that they don't know, and honestly, they don't trust half the people they do know. And thirdly, they have a ton of prejudices that are strongly held. They have prejudices against Americans, Greeks, Armenians, Kurds, Arabs, and even Turks from other parts of their own country. So with the combination of all three of these, their natural tendency to overreact, their suspicious frame of mind, and the prejudices they have against some of their own countrymen, it's hard to know exactly what the situation is here. Honestly, it probably wasn't the wisest thing to go driving up there with just the two of us whities, but at the same time, I don't think there was any danger in it like Amen believed there was.

So I don't know what we'll do. The Boss and I discussed a lot about what our role as foreigners is in this country and in this town. It's a difficult question to answer. There are things that we just don't understand due to cultural differences and just general ignorance about things in this country. The prejudices against us and the ulterior motives a lot of people have for befriending us makes even the "safest" relationships uneasy and unsettling at times. Because of those reasons, and others, this type of ministry may not be something we can take part in. But we'll see. We're still thinking through it and still praying over what our role is going to be here. Hopefully this is not the end of the story with Solomon and Zechariah. I'm hoping and praying that it was an overreaction and that these guys are genuinely seeking. Even members of anti-American Muslim political parties can have their hearts touched by the Holy Spirit. That's what I pray happened here. But if it's not, I praise God for sending Amen to Pinky that day, and for getting the word to us in time, literally five minutes before we were leaving.

In other news, tonight is the last night of practice for our choir performance. Pray that we can pull it together and sound decent (good may be stretching it) on Sunday. Also, I'm going to be fairly busy the next few days, with holiday things. I'm teaching tomorrow, then there's a party and gift swap after school, and in the evening, I will be attending a performance of Anton Bruckner's Symphony No. 4 by the local symphony orchestra. Saturday, I have to finish my Christmas shopping and I will be visiting with the V family as they have sort of an "open house" for their neighbors to come and visit. Sunday I will be going to the international church to see the V boys and the Boss' kids in a Christmas play before going to my own church and giving my first international choral performance. Monday, Christmas Day, will see me visit the V family and the Boss' family to pass out Christmas cheer, then attend a city wide worship time that night at a local church.

So, if you would, take a minute and pray for Solomon and Zechariah. And while you're at it, pray for all of us spending the holiday season away from our families. Specifically, the V family I think is having some homesickness issues and a Dear Friend of mine is also dealing with some difficult emotions. Take whatever time you would've prayed for me today and give it to them instead.

It's in the books.

Now if I could only find the books...

Yesterday was my first foray into the world of ESL teaching. I wasn't actually teaching, but observing one of my bosses (yeah, try having two bosses for a while) teaching his class with a group of people from our bank. Basically all I did was make copies of the handouts and sat there and took notes on how to teach. It was actually quite an enjoyable night. There were five students, all adults (over 30), and even though none of them had taken an English class within the last twenty years, they knew much more English than I do Turkish. In that sense, it was quite embarassing for me. But, it made the class a lot of fun. We were just reviewing simple "to be" phrases, making negatives, and making questions. They all were cutting up, both in English and Turkish, and we all just had a blast. If this is what teaching English is like on a regular basis, I'm going to enjoy this a good bit I think.



But before you go thinking it was just the perfect night, let me add this in there really quick. About an hour before the class started, the power went out for the third time yesterday. It had gone off twice during the day, but was not out for long. However, not long after sundown, it went out again, and was off for over an hour. So instead of having class in our office, we had to relocate to the bank. It wasn't a problem really, but it was just one of those "Only in Central Asia" moments (though I'm sure it happens more often in Africa and South America and places like that).

Electricity Woes, A Cheap Narnia, and Two Great Possibilities

Three months ago I never would've imagined saying this, but it's cold here! It has been chilly for over a month now and is supposed to get even colder in Jan. It's really not all that cold here. Temperature wise, it's actually milder than South Carolina. But, there's always a but, all buildings are made of concrete. What does that mean? It means that on an average morning, it's roughly 10 degrees colder in my apartment than it is outside the apartment. As crazy as this sounds, sometimes it's so cold inside, that I have to open the door to let some warm air in. Strange I know, but true. I'm sure you're thinking, "But Chris, why don't you just turn on the heat?" It's an honest question, and here's my honest answer. First of all, there was no heat. I had to go buy (thank you Lottie) my own heater for my room. It's a little radiator looking thing with oil inside. The radiator heats the oil and subsequently the room. It's supposed to be much more energy efficient than the regular electric space heaters. Well, that may be true, but after the first month of usage, it tripled our electric bill! That's right, TRIPLED! My roommate was not happy, and neither was I, since it was obviously my heater's fault. But, c'est la vie. I guess I'll pay it this time. But I'm being much more conservative with my heater usage this month. So currently I have on my winter coat and ski cap with a blanket rapped around my legs as I type with very cold fingers. I'll be dog gone if I'm going to pay another $30 electric bill!

Since I've been drained by the power company, I've had to be a little more selective in my entertainment purchases lately. There's no use wasting money on the frivolties of life when our electric bill is in double digits! But I made friends with a DVD salesman down the street and was in the mood for a good movie the other night, so I went to see his collection. Unfortunately, DVDs are expensive. I saw some for what would be about $25. Granted, it's not much more than what you'd pay for one in America, but still, that's a lot. I was just about to pay it when my friend offered me a deal I couldn't refuse. Instead of buying the $25 DVD, he'd give me one for the US equivelant of about $3.25. Ok, I'll take it! He pulls a box out from under the counter are starts going through piles of homemade DVDs with copies of the actual DVD box covers on them. Well, sure enough, out pops the Chronicles of Narnia. I bought it, brought it home, gave it to Eve to play, and sure enough, it is a wonderful copy of the original DVD. So I guess you can add breaking federal copyright laws to my list of lifetime accomplishments.

And finally, and more seriously, two pretty cool things that happened this week. First of all, I got to share with the man I buy pants from. I have talked to him a few times in the past, just stopping in when I'm in the area to chat. But, as usual, my language difficulties limits our conversations. Well, this past week, I was supposed to help a family in the church paint their living room one afternoon. They stood me up. Once I realized that they were not coming, I grabbed my dictionary, my Incil, and my pen and paper, and off I went. I dove into the heart of the city and found my pants man to sit down and practice some language and maybe learn a new word or two. But, providentially, the conversation turned to Christmas, and I was able to lay out almost the whole Gospel, almost. Granted, I don't know that he was too receptive, but honestly, I couldn't understand what he was saying enough to really know what he was thinking. Hopefully the next time I see him, which will be one day this week coming up, we can get back into the conversation and maybe God will grant me the gift of tongues (don't tell the Trustees) long enough for me to share the Gospel, the whole Gospel, with this guy.

The second really cool thing happened a few days later. My boss and I met with two guys that live in a village close by that wanted to get together and talk about Christ. The story, as best I could make out, goes like this. They found an internet site about Christianity. The got connected with a believer in Istanbul and began an email and MSN Messenger correspondence with him. The two guys got their hands on a Bible and started reading it together, asking the guy in Istanbul whatever questions came up. Recently, for reasons I don't know, they decided that they wanted to meet with someone in person, locally, to discuss what they had been reading. Word made it's way down the chain to us and we met them for lunch. So that's the background. On the way to this meeting me and my boss were talking and agreed that there's really five reasons someone would want to meet with us. 1) They want Money. 2) They want a job. 3) They want to learn English. 4) They want to go to America. 5) They want to learn about the one true God. So we've got a one in five chance with these guys. I like my odds. The lunch went well. I didn't speak hardly at all as my boss and one of the other guys did most the talking. The impression that I got, and my boss did as well, was that these guys are genuinely seeking. It's hard to judge the guy who wasn't talking because, well, he didn't talk much. But at least the one guy seemed to be interested in learning more. So this week we're driving out to their village to meet with them again. If they're for real, this is my first opportunity to do some real foundation laying with someone here. It'll be a great chance to disciple some guys and try to develop a ministry in a town where there is no other known believers. It's really exciting to think about the possibilities, but I have to remind myself, that they're just that right now, just possibilities. There are no guarantees that these guys will care, listen, or believe what we have to say. There are no gaurantees that anything will come of either of these opportunities, but if something does, it's going to be a very exciting time.

More Improvements, "Normal" Thoughts, and Sex Sex Sex

As you can see again, or at least I hope you can see it, I have been adding some touches to the recent drab look of the blog. Hopefully it worked and you see some guys on little horses down in the bottom left corner. If not, then it's back to the drawing board.

Just thought I'd throw out a thought I discussed with my boss today. He was telling me about all the "strange" testimonies he has heard from people recently, brought on by a prayer request for a cousin of mine and subsequently, a brief personal testimony. It really made me question, "What is a 'normal' testimony?" I mean really, what is the 'normal' path people take to finding Christ and living a life devoted to him. Most people would say that growing up in a Christian home, to Christian parents, involved in church since the day you were born, making some sort of decision as a child, and, finally, really 'dedicating' your life to Christ at some point in high school or early college (though it sounds a lot like that could be actual time of conversion but we can save the whole "Lord and/or Saviour" argument for next time). That sounds pretty "normal" to me. But is it really that "normal?" If so, why are there thousands of families, devoted Christian families, mourning for lost children? How can you have two kids, growing up in the same household, and have one choose Christ and one not? Or better yet, how can someone who has spent so much time in church, with all the hypocrisy and problems that it brings (not bashing the church here, I love it, just stating the facts), believe in the God that supposedly rules over it? And let's not even talk about the Gospel. God becoming man, being born of a virgin, resurrecting himself from the grave? I mean, really, it's pretty crazy stuff. So I don't think that even the most "normal" sounding testimony is something that we should label "normal." The crazy testimonies about people on drugs or getting miraculous healing or whatever are just as "normal" as any others, because when you boil it all down, there's nothing normal about believing in Christ. It's crazy. It really is. If it were really all that normal, there wouldn't be so many lost people still wandering around lost!

And in completely unrelated news, but in order to explain my use of the word "sex" in the title, my friend Robbie Gouge has informed me that his Norton Internet Security device has blocked him from reading this blog and labeled it a "Sex Site" due to my "No Underwear" post a few days ago. I hope I have not caused any problems for any one else. I'll be sure to clean things up around here from now on... maybe.

The X-Box Hates Me, No Underwear, Silent Night, and a Relevant Link

This may be long, and I could break it up into a few entries, but I'm just going to put it out there for you now since I'll be busy for the rest of the week and since all of this happened over the weekend anyways.

First of all, the Vs have an X-Box with NCAA 05, which, even though I am 24, is totally addicting to me. I could play it for hours. And I'd like to think I'm pretty good. That is until I played a seventh grader who I will call Indiana. The first time we played, he picked Ohio State, ranked sixth or seventh, and I chose Clemson, which is ranked fifteenth but has low ratings in all statistical areas. He ran over in the beginning, until I figured out how to slow down his running game. I ended up beating him in the second half, but he had too much of a lead and I lost. So the second time we played, he got LSU, ranked third, so to even things up, I got USC, ranked first. Well, he had two, not one, but TWO Hail Mary passes that were tipped into the air and subsequently caught by another one of his receivers for a TD. Why was he throwing Hail Mary passes? Because when the playing field was even, he could do nothing against my defense. So he was up by three, but I drove right down the field to about his 30 yard line. I had a deep ball batted down, though it was only man to man coverage, and the next play he intercepted Matt Leinhart, the Heisman trophy winner from that year, again, in man to man coverage. 0-2. But it gets worse. We played again this past weekend, me with Clemson again, and this time Indiana chose Southern Miss which, though unranked, has better grades in the different statistical categories. He had TWO INTs of balls thrown into man to man coverage and I fumbled the ball at my own 20 on the VERY FIRST handoff of the game. Throw in one more tipped ball Hail Mary TD because, again, he couldn't move the ball on my defense, and you have a seven point victory by the seventh grader. I'm 0-3 now. This X-Box hates me.

This weekend was his fourth grade brother's birthday too. So I went over Sat afternoon to hang out. When I showed up, the birthday boy and Tom Tom were playing in the dirt out in front of the house with their play tractors. Their mom came out and told them that they'd have to get a bath before company came over. All three of us let out a loud, "Awwww, mom!" If any of you know me, you know why. If you don't, keep reading. I told Tom Tom not to worry about it, bathes are cool every now and then, and that I had actually taken one that day myself (though I won't say how long ago the last one was). Tom Tom came over to stand beside me and said that he wanted to live with me when he grew up. I told him he would love it when he got older. That when you get to be my age Tom Tom, you don't have to shower if you don't want, you don't have to get a haircut if you don't want, and you know what, you don't even have to wear underwear if you don't want to. Of course, this took the breath out of their sweet, little, ultra-conservative mom, and got a laugh from the 4th grade brother. But Tom Tom just looked at me with a puzzled look and asked, "Are you wearing underwear now Mr. Chris?" You know Tom Tom, I can't remember.

Last night was our regular "youth group" meeting. Though it's called a "youth" group, the youngest person in the room was 21 and the oldest was 45. It's more like a "single-and-old-enough-to-be-let-out-of-the-house-whenever-you-want" group. But anyway, he had a wonderful dinner prepared by the German lady in town and we sat around drinking tea and coffee and talking. I asked one of the Turkish girls to write down the words to Silent Night for me, in Turkish, so I could be memorizing it for our upcoming Christmas performance. Someone overheard us and the next thing you know, I was asked to sing Silent Night, in English, for everyone in the room. Again, anyone that knows me, knows I can't sing. I don't change notes, I just change volume to simulate raising and lowering my pitch. My philosophy is, if I can hold this one note through the whole song, then at some point, I will be singing the right one. That's better than trying to follow the tune up and down and never getting it right. Anyhow, I agreed, partly because I am stupid like that and partly because I have no pride left. But to my surprise, as I started, the same girl I had asked to write the words to the Turkish version joined in singing the English. She has a beautiful voice and we sang the whole first verse for the room, after which not only did we get a loud round of applause, but it sparked about an hours worth of impromptu accapella singing by different people around the room. Come to find out, not only does this girl know a lot more English than she admits to, she also did something with the local Catholic church at one time, helping with a Christmas program, and learned a lot of the Western Christmas hymns. It was the highlight of my singing career, so far.

And finally, check out this article. It sums up a feeling a lot of us have in us with our desire for a "third place." I totally believe what the author has to say, and after thinking about it, find that it also explains what may be the hardest part of living in a new place. There is no one here who knows my name. Half of the people here can't pronounce it correctly even if they know it (it's pronounced like Carese with a long E sound). There is no place where I can go where people know how I like my coffee, mainly because I don't know of a place where I can even go and order a cup of coffee! In general, there is nothing really familiar here, and I am not familiar to anyone or any place here. It's starting all over. Trying to build those relationships all over again, but doing it in a place where very few people speak your own language. Check it out, it's a good article, speaking truth, and well written. http://www.relevantmagazine.com/life_article.php?id=7327

New Look and Christmas Decorations

Well, as it is plain to see, I've been messing with the look of the blog. I'll probably keep playing with it, but this is as good as it is getting tonight.

But before I go to bed, I had to post these pictures. Stephen, one of the crazy little V kids, made me some Christmas decorations for my house, since he knew we wouldn't be putting up a tree here. I've got to find the perfect place to show these little guys off, but for now, they are sparkling on top of my CD case.

This post is brought to you by Gaylord Hotels.

I got ragged pretty hard today by someone who used to be my friend about Clemson's bowl destination. But you know what? There was nothing I can say! We were 7-1 and now we're 8-4. We COULD've and SHOULD've won the ACC. We wore all purple uniforms this year. We're going to the GAYLORD Hotels Music City Bowl. Thanks a lot Tommy, Jad, and Will, the three stooges of Clemson football. As you can tell, I'm still not over this football season.

But besides the continued mediocrity of Clemson football, everything else is going great. This past Saturday, Dec. 2nd, 2006, was my seventh birthday. On a Thursday afternoon, Dec. 2nd, 1999, at about 6:20 in the PM, I was driving down I-77 in my 1984 Chevy K-5 Blazer (THE Blazer), and just as I approached the Percival Rd. exit, I gave my life to Christ. It was, still is, and always will be, the greatest day in my life. It was not the happiest. I came to the Lord very stubbornly, and in desperation. I was convinced that Christ was God because of the lives I saw that He had changed around me, among my friends. But I had also seen people taking his name in vain, claiming to be Christians, and yet living however they pleased, with no joy or happiness to speak of. I wanted to avoid that same hypocrisy. I tried for months to make my life into a "good Christian life" before I finally gave up on that Dec. afternoon. I was stubborn to do it, but found that I couldn't, and that desperation, of knowing that I could never be good enough, was what made me give my life over to Christ, hoping that he would have mercy on me, and make my life something worth living.

Well, as always, he did. Looking back over the last seven years, I realize how much God has done for me, how far I have come, and how much further I have to go. I have grown in my obedience to Christ since then. I am not controlled by some of the same desires I had then. I have been given a peace of mind and a joy in my heart, that though I wish they were greater, were not even there before that day. I have grown in my knowledge of the truth. Then I had just guessed at and deduced what I thought was a good set of morals. Now I have the truth in my hands to read, and have committed some, though embarassingly little, to memory. It has become something I love to ponder and discuss. I have been given a ton of brothers and sisters that I would not have known otherwise, and the relationships are deeper and more meaningful than any I had before, even within my own biological family. The spiritual fathers I have had in Mike Hurd, Casey Ross, the B-Axe, and Schube have helped shape my life, and lead me through tough places and times. The spiritual brothers I have had in Dougy Doug, Gouge, Paul, Jamie, Big Al, Big Al, Robert Wood, Dinger, Mr. Anderson, Jacob, TL, Jeff, Ross, Denton and Cliver, Big Country, Mark Win, Trey, Goldberg, Bidwell, Hunter, Putney, Von Reitz, Toddles, Chris Tenny, David Brown, Doug Jett, Brannon, Johnny Moore, Adam, Steven, Jimmy Shaw, Special K, the Shark, the White Guy, Rodbey, and all the boys, have kept me sane, kept challenging me, and have stood shoulder to shoulder with me through the years. And the spiritual sisters, Cynthia (my spiritual mom really), Emily Ann, Megan, Becca, Holy Hennessey, Mandy, Haley, Mollie, Ingrid, Nichole, Kathleen, Allegra, Lane, Terri, Jessica, Mandi, Whitney, Guneş, and Layle, have shown tons of grace towards me and taught me to love people in ways that I would not have learned on my own. I apologize to anyone I forgot to mention, but the point is that God has given me so many dear friends that I can't count them all anymore! I have been blessed to travel this whole world preaching his name and seeing him at work in some of the darkest corners of this earth. At times it's been great, at times it has really stunk, but through it all, it's always been worth it. I could never repay God for the gift of salvation, and I don't think I've even covered all these other gifts that he has lavished on me. I thank my God for it all, and ask for seven more years that are as joy filled, challenging, and rewarding as the last seven. Show yourself to me, and to us all, Father God, as loving and as powerful today as you were seven years ago, and as you have been since before time began. Amen.

Father Abraham had many Fish!?

That's right, everybody knows that Father Abraham had many sons, but did you know he had many fish as well?

There is a city in eastern Turkey that I went to this past week that claims to be the home of these fish. The story goes that Abraham was in the city preaching against the pagan gods one day, when he seriously ticked off Nimrod, the local Assyrian king. Nimrod ordered a great fire to be built, and for Abraham to be thrown on top of it. They built the fire and seized Abraham and when they were ready to throw him on, the fire became water, and the hot coals turned to fish.



Possible? Sure. Probable? Nah. Why? Well, the first strike against it is that it isn't in my Bible. The second strike against it is that this same city also claims to be Abraham's birth place, which, according to my Bible, is Ur, way the heck down in Iraq. And the third strike, which may be the most damning in my opinion, is that all these sacred, holy, and miraculous fish (some of which live forever supposedly), all these fish of Abraham, are CARP. I don't think God would do such a great miracle and leave behind a bunch of algae eating mud suckers to prove it! And if it wasn't enough that they're carp, and who would eat carp anyways, we were told it was a sin to eat one of these fish. Oh well, guess I'll have to settle for another kebap.

But that's not all! Also on our journey we got to see the ancient walled city of Diyarbikir. I don't know of anything that's really of note about the city, except that it has a wall around the whole thing that was built before Christ (some estimates have it at 2000 BC), with only 4 entrances (which are still the only 4 ways into the city today), and a Roman bridge built in 742 AD that still has cars being driven over it. The bridge crosses the Tigris river, which is one of the four rivers that flowed out of Eden. So it was cool to see. Included are pictures of said wall, bridge, and river.





Also, my roommate is having a minor surgery tomorrow. He's got some sort of growth on his hand about the size of an acorn. The doctors say it's nothing to be worried about, but he wants it off (it looks a little goofy). If you could, pray that God will comfort him, since he seems a little bit worried.

Overnighter

Tomorrow morning I have to wake up early to take a little overnight trip with the boss. First, let me say that my defintion of early has been rewritten to say, "Anything before 9:30 AM." We're leaving at 8:15, so for me, that's early. But anyway, I made a list of things to take, to make sure I didn't forget anything and I just had to laugh at myself. For an overnight trip "out east," I plan on packing six things. Three of these things I carry with me on a day to day basis, the other three are just for the trip. Bible, notebook, A Severe Mercy, camera, toothbrush, and toothpaste. I always carry my Bible and notebook and whatever book I'm reading at the moment. The camera and toiletries will be extra this time out. I love being me.

We'll be headed pretty far east, about a nine hour bus ride, so I will have plenty of time to read, pray, think, and talk to the boss. Some things I'd like to accomplish on this voyage: catch up a little on my "read through the Bible in a year" pledge (barely over a month into it and I'm already embarassingly behind), finish A Severe Mercy (Because I am totally in love with the book, you were right Allison, and I want to know hot it ends. I will probably reread it later, under different life circumstances.), learn some new Turkish words, and get a more detailed picture of what my boss sees my role being here. I include the last one because for the most part, I determine what I do on a day to day and week to week basis. I'd like to see what he was thinking when he requested someone to come, and how, now that he knows me a little, I fit or don't fit that picture. I think this will also involve me challenging him on doing more with me in a discipleship type role, both spiritually and vocationally, since I have a lot to learn about teaching English. I also hope this involves him pushing me a little, since I get the feeling lately that I am not as much as I could be. I intentionally left out the word "doing" that I'm sure most expected, because it's more than just me feeling like I am not performing well enough, but that I am not good enough. I know I am a sinner, and my experience Sunday reinforced any doubts I had of the completeness of that fact, but at the same time, I can be more. I know this sounds vague, but it is still very vague in my mind. I feel that I am on the brink of a time of personal growth and I'm excited to see what kind of direction I am taken.

And one last thought, one that has haunted me since my run in with myself Sunday, and which has been thrust into the light even more by this wonderful book Allison gave me. It is the longing of my heart to be loved and to love. I was talking with a dear friend of mine the other night and I just said what I was thinking, that there is a part of me that longs to be loved and longs to give love to someone else. I want someone who can speak truth into my life with a touch of grace. And someone who can, just as easily, pour grace into my life without compromising the truth. My friend's response was, "I do too. We have that person." Yes we do, and the sin that I became so apparent of Sunday keeps me from being with him like I should. I remember the words of CS Lewis, "If I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world." I agree. This feeling that I have will no be satisfied by anything in this world, I am sure of it. And this other world is a place where I was supposed to, and one day shall , "fully know" to use Paul's words. This thing I feel is more than "loneliness," but that is the only word I can think of to describe it. I feel the seperation between myself and God. It is a result of the fall, and consequently, my own sin. I know that God will draw near to me, but even then, I will only see "dimly as in a mirror." I long for the day when I will "fully know as I have been known."

Sin and It's Consequences

Most days I read my Bible and pray. I am conscious of God and interact with him. I try to live righteously. I try to repent when I fail. I tell other people about the truth that I have found. I show grace whenever I can. Most days I try to live my life in worship.

Then other days, I do worship. I don't just do the things that look like worship, I worship. I don't just look for God, I look at him. I don't just think about glory, I get a glimpse of it. I don't just ask for forgiveness, I weep over my sins.

Today is that other day. I went to church like I do every week. I talked to the same people I do every week. We talked about the same things we do every week. We started out singing the same songs we have sung before. But there was something different today.

We sang and clapped and danced today and we did it all with a joy that I have not seen in the church since being here. There is no other explanation I can offer, except that the Spirit of the Living God moved today like he has not done in that church in my short time here. At first it felt great, overwhelming me with joy, until something happened. As I prayed, I became overwhelmed with another thought, the thought of my sin. It all came rushing back to me as I prayed, all the things I have sinned in and even some of the things I thought I had "repented" of. It flooded me with horror and disgust. Here I was, in the presence of the King of Kings, standing before him in my filthy rags. I felt, more than I have ever before in my life, that not only had I DONE a lot of bad things, but that I AM bad. These sins that were brought to rememberance were not merely actions or thoughts of mine, this was me. It is who I am. And all that I am, when it was contrasted with the beauty of Christ, broke my heart. All I could do cry. Cry, and ask God to forgive me.

And if that is where things ended, I should be pitied indeed. If all we could do when faced with our sins is to wallow in them, we would all be mired in our own filth. But praise be to God that that's not where we are left. When the thoughts of my sin flood me and move me to tears, I cry out for forgiveness and I have been heard. There was a man named Jesus who lived a sinless life and died a horrible death, offering himself up as a sacrifice for many, that we may find that forgiveness, and enter in to fellowship with our God. There is grace and there is mercy. And it overflows from the cup of our Father. With the blood of his Son, we have been washed clean. And with the fire of his Spirit, we have new life breathed into us.

So there is hope. Sin has dire consequences. We all feel the effects of it, in our sicknesses, and pain, and heartache. But there is a greater penalty that must be paid. There is a firey wrath that must be quenched. His Holiness must be revenged. Praise be to Christ, who stood in our place, and took the sentence that we had earned so that we could go free. He was wounded for our transgressions; he was crushed for our iniquities; upon him was the chastisement that brought us peace, and with his stripes we are healed. All we like sheep have gone astray; we have turned every one to his own way; and the Lord has laid on him the iniquity of us all. -Is. 53

After the singing, this was the Scripture that was read. And so I prayed these words for myself, and I pray them for all of you, "Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean; wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow. Let me hear joy and gladness; let the bones you have broken rejoice. Hide your face from my sins, and blot out all my iniquities. Creat in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me. Cast me not away from your presence, and take not your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of your salvation, and uphold me with a willing spirit." -Ps. 51. Amen.

I tried walking into on-coming traffic and that didn't work.

I don't have the energy for anything else right now. I don't have the energy to climb back out onto the ledge like I did after the Maryland game. I don't have the tears to weep like I did after the Boston College game. I am spent.

This is the second year in a row that we've been one win away from the ACC Championship. This is the second year in a row that we've played like the best team in our half of the conference, and yet did not represent our half in the big game. This is the second year in a row that we are less than a touchdown away from being a top ten team. This is the fifteenth year in a row we will not finish with ten wins in a season. This is the first time in five years I've had to deal with losing to USC. This is the first time in a long time that I've been disappointed with 8-4.

Who's fault is it? Though his stats look good, our QB has been less than effective. The ACCs leading rusher and one of the top scorers in the nation has been MIA the last few weeks. The fifth best defense in the country was as ineffective as the French military. The refs made a couple questionable calls. For the second time this season, our offensive coordinator has taken the "hot hand" out of the ball game for someone cold off the bench. Our kicker missed yet another field goal, this time it wasn't blocked, just straight up missed it. And for the third time this year, I have to live with the fact that one just got away. One we could've won. One that we should've won. One we just let go.

We lack something. What it is is hard to say. You could call it "the killer instinct." That ability that all good teams have to drive that hot dagger into your heart to reassure, as if you thought different, that you were definitely going to lose today, and that it would be painful. We can't put teams away. We jumped out to a fourteen point lead in the third quarter. That's what good teams do. They score. But great teams, truly special teams, come again, with back breaking force, to take the life out of the other bench. That is what we can't do. We can never make the other team believe they're beaten. In the end, it just looked like they wanted it more. The game was in our hands, and instead of putting the shoulder down and running over someone, we fumbled it away.

So I don't care anymore. I don't care what our record is. I don't care who wins the ACC. I don't care who wins the National Championship. I don't care what bowl we go to. I don't care if we win the bowl. I don't care who we get commitments from before signing day. I don't care that the program is heading in the right direction. I don't care if I'm "learning fast for only being here three months." I don't care if the Democrats take control of Congress. I don't care if there's a Mormon running for president. I don't care if the Pope is coming, the Pope is coming. I don't care if it's two in the morning and I'm ranting blindly into a blog that will be viewed by friends all over the world. I just don't care. I'm tired. I'm tired of being 'that' team. 'That team' that lost 4 games last year by a combined 12 points. 'That team' that lost 3 games this year by a combined 5 points. 'That team' that has been one win away from the ACC Championship game two years in a row. We've been 'that team' for too long, and I'm tired.

I'm sorry Reggie. I know you wanted it. I wanted you to have it. I was angry when they took you out too. You deserved it. You deserved better. Thanks for everything. This one's for you.

Groundhog Day

Disclaimer- this post has nothing to do with the Bill Murray movie by the same name. I will try to avoid using any Bill Murray humor in the writing of this post, though I must admit, that his work in the Ghostbuster movies deserves some recognition.

Everyone knows the story of ole Punxsutawney Phil (had to look up the spelling on that one). On Feb 2nd, the ole groundhog comes out of his home on Gobbler's Knob and if he sees his shadow, reports that there will be six more weeks of winter, but if he does not see his shadow, proclaims that spring will come right on time. Whether you are willing to believe in these little legends is up to you, but I can promise you that today is a type of Groundhog Day for myself, and one that does prove itself true year after year.

You see, today is the annual Clemson versus South Carolina football game. This is the day when I look to the scoreboard to see what the year will bring. If the Tigers come out on top, there will be 52 more weeks of pure, unadulterated bliss. Nothing makes being thousands of miles away from home, living in a Muslim country, and trying to learn a new, and difficult, language easier to bear, than a Clemson victory. There aren't many things that can really get a man down after watching Clemson soundly thumping Carolina. With a Clemson victory and the divine Paraclete, I can change the world.

But on the other side of the coin, a Carolina victory means doom and gloom for weeks to come. Nothing makes a cold winter night colder, darker, or lonelier, than knowing that the misfits in Garnet and Black stole one from us. On the rare occassion that they do mess up and win one, time seems to just stand still. Expectations grow dangerously high around downtown Columbia. And all we in Clemson can do, is sit and wait, and remind them that they may have won the battle, but we are winning the war.

So which should we expect this year? Before I offer my guess, let's look to the past to give us a hint of what the future may bring (this next section is taken largely from a document entitled "This is Carolina Football" and does not include the past two seasons under Spurrier).

On December 24 1892, The University of South Carolina began a storied football tradition by losing to in-state rival Furman 44-0 in Charleston. The Gamecocks compiled a 0-3 record in their first two seasons and did not score an offensive point those two seasons. South Carolina football was born, as was a losing tradition that would continue over the next 111 seasons. This is Carolina football.

South Carolina has an all-time winning percentage under .500, which ranks 90th all-time in D-1A football history...only 27 of the 117 programs who are currently competing at the D-1A level have been worse. Of the 62 teams in the history of D-1A football who have played 980 or more games, only 7 programs have won fewer games than South Carolina. Forty-Six teams have played 1,050 games in their schools history and only two of them have yet to win 500 games…Northwestern and South Carolina. Since the Associated Press began ranking football teams in 1936, the Cocks have finished in the Top 20 of the rankings only five times in the 69 years. South Carolina has never finished in the Top 10 of a major recognized poll...NEVER. This is Carolina football.

The first year of Gamecock football was in 1892, Carolina won its first bowl game 103 years later. Seventy-two schools have been to 9 or more bowl games, and of those 72 schools, South Carolina’s .273 bowl winning percentage ranks 72nd…that’s correct, LAST. This is Carolina Football.

In the thirteen seasons as a member of the SEC, Carolina boasts an overall conference record of 37-66-1…only two teams have been worse: Kentucky has 27 wins, Vanderbilt 13. Although Carolina has yet to finish in the top two of the Eastern division, they have finished last twice. Since 1992, only once has a conference member failed to win a game overall in a single season…you guessed it, South Carolina. South Carolina’s all-time record versus other current conference members is even more unimpressive: 3-9 vs Alabama, 5-8 vs Arkansas, 1-4-1 vs Auburn, 3-19-3 vs Florida, 13-42-2 vs Georgia, 9-6-1 vs Kentucky, 2-14-1 vs LSU, 5-8 vs Ole Miss, 5-6 vs Mississippi St., 2-19-2 vs Tennessee, and 12-2 vs Vanderbilt. South Carolina boasts an all time record of 60-137-8 against current SEC teams, a .2926 winning percentage…good enough for 12th out of the current 12 SEC members…that’s correct, LAST. This is Carolina football.

But, the comparison of only 13 seasons in one conference does no justice to the tradition of South Carolina football. So lets compare the Cocks record versus D-1A schools they have played 20 or more times: 36-62-4 vs Clemson, 17-24-3 vs Duke, 3-19-3 vs Florida, 13-42-2 vs Georgia, 9-12 vs Georgia Tech,11-17 vs Maryland, 16-34-4 vs North Carolina, 25-26-4 vs North Carolina State, 2-19-2 vs Tennessee, 21-12-1 vs Virginia, and 33-21-2 vs Wake Forest. This is Carolina football.



South Carolina has had 32 different head coaches in its storied tradition...only six of them stayed longer than 5 seasons, 22 of them have losing records. This is Carolina football.

The Gamecocks have failed to score a single point in 160 games, over 15% of their contests. They have scored in single digits in 395 of their 1051 games, a staggering mark of 37.5%. Of the 46 programs, which have played more than 1050 games all-time, only one (Northwestern) has scored fewer points than South Carolina in their schools history. This is Carolina football.

According to South Carolina fans, their biggest two rivalries are Clemson and Georgia. The Gamecocks have compiled a 48-105-6 record against these two schools. Over the past 47 seasons, South Carolina has played both Georgia and Clemson in the same season 42 times. The Gamecocks have beaten both teams in the same season five times since 1958, and have lost to both teams in the same season 21 times over that span. This is Carolina football.

But all this tradition and past records are meaningless. What is more important is the recent history. Only losers live in the past. We are in the best years of Carolina Gamecock football, and the future has never been brighter...or has it? South Carolina’s record since 1995: 49-64-1, which is 82nd among 117 D-1A teams over the same period. Since Joining the SEC: 66-81-1, which is 74th among D-1A teams over the same period. Since 1990: 75-92-3, which is 71st among D-1A teams over the same span. Carolina has finished in the Top 15 once in the past 16 seasons, and been to three bowl games in that span. And to add to this myself, I will add that Carolina has lost to in-state rival Clemson 8 of the last 9 years, including a 63-17 thrashing in Columbia, the largest point difference in this "rivalry's" storied tradition. This, my friend, is Carolina football.

So it looks like history is on our side. Joining history is class, intelligence, and athletic ability, to make for an all around dominating performance by Clemson. I say that both our tailbacks top a hundred yards rushing, with both scoring at least once. Reggie Merriweather will score one too, for old times sake. Proctor will play good enough for us to win. Gaines Adams will have 3 sacks on the sadly immobile Blake Mitchell and Newton will not fair much better in a support role. The Tigers dominate on both sides of the ball. Hopefully the Chickens wear their black. It'll be appropriate for the funeral procession back to Columbia this evening.

Clemson wins 31-13 and Clemson fans the world over will bask in Tiger orange sunsets for another 365 days. GO TIGERS!!!

Thanksgiving with my Family

I can't remember if I said this in the last post or not, but this actually makes the third Thanksgiving in a row that I've been away from "my family." But I must qualify that statement. Though I haven't been with the people that are related to me by earthly standards, I have been blessed to be with family all three years. Two years ago I was living in Grand Junction, CO, and I ate with a middle aged lady with no family in the area and another single girl from the church I was going to. We rode horses in the afternoon and ate a wonderful dinner that night. Last year I was blessed to be at both the Gouge family Thanksgiving and the Tennant family Thanksgiving in Kingsport, TN. Without taking anything away from Mrs. Tennant, I must say that Mrs. Gouge is the best cook in the history of the world, ever. So this year I find myself here, in Turkey, with the Vs. We got together for dinner with their language helper and another single American. It was a great dinner and a great time to spend with people that have really become my family here. So despite my tendency to wander, God has provided loving people with which I can spend my holidays with everywhere I have gone.

But that's not all I did yesterday. I did some reading and studying in the morning, writing out an explanation of the Thanksgiving story in Turkish. But in the afternoon I went out to get a haircut, since I have been needing one and since I knew that you can't get out of a barber shop in less than half an hour, and barbers are usually more than willing to talk. So I had a good chance to get a haircut, beard trim, language practice, and maybe make a friend all for a few American dollars. I went to a barber shop near the house here that is always full, thinking that if it's always that full, they must be doing something right. Well, I was shown to the first chair open, which happened to be the youngest guy's chair. He didn't do much talking, and I am not sure that they were excited about having a foreigner in their shop, but the haircut and beard trim were worth the money.

First of all, I told him I wanted all my hair to be the same length. The Turks like the high and tight, military-ish look and I didn't want to come out like that. So I told him that I wanted every hair the same length and even pointed out which attachment he should use on the clippers. He said ok and asked if I wanted a beard trim. I said yes, since it didn't cost anything extra. So he grabs some clippers, I settle into the chair, and before I have a chance to say anything, he has taken his clippers, with NO attachment, and cut into my beard and sideburns. Well, it was too late to save the beard at that point, so I told him to at least leave me a goatee. He said OK and went back to cutting my hair. I quickly realized that this guy was cutting my hair much shorter than I had asked for, so I told him, politely, to cut it short, but not TOO short. Well, this is what it came out looking like.

The V boys joined me in mourning the loss of the beard, but my roommate, surprisingly, said that I look much more handsome, and that the Turkish women might actually like me now. Well great, that's what I've been after the whole time.

But probably the best part of the whole haircut experience was near the end, after I had gotten over the loss of the beard and could relax knowing he had left me SOME hair on my head, though obviously not much. My barber friend mixed up some strange looking purple mixture and dipped this stick into it. This "stick" was a ball of cotton on the end of a thin piece of metal with a wooden handle on the other end. Thinking it was another one of the lotions or salves they used, I didn't think much of it until I saw him go behind a little curtain and re-emerge with his stick engulfed in a ball of flames. He had lit the end of that thing on fire. "It's okay," I told myself, "Surely he's going to let it burn down and then do something with it." Well, I had barely started translated "What the heck are you doing?" in my head when he told me to look the other way and he started hitting me on the head with his flaming stick. He was holding my ear and hitting the ends of my hair with his fireball. It was just hot enough to make you flinch a little, but not hot enough to really hurt. And, he would rub the area he had just hit before he hit a new area, so it actually felt good once I got over the shock of it. So he made his way around my ear and I started to relax and turned my head for him to get to the other ear, but he said, "Stop" and put his hand over my nose. I don't even know if this type of thing is legal in the States. Surely there is some kind of law against hitting someone in the mouth with a flaming ball of chemicals dangling precariously on the end of a thin piece of old rusty aluminum. But, c'est la vie. You know what they say, when in Rome, do as the Romans do. So I left the barber shop with almost no hair, just a remnant of a beard, and the fresh smell of singed mustache. Quite the cultural experience.

Great Expectations Revisited

My conversation with one of the guys here in town about expectations has become quite the running joke around town. But I'm afraid I was misunderstood. You see, I do think that putting expectations on God is risky business. Personally, putting expectations on other people seems risky to me as well, because you never know what you're going to get. But really, I didn't mean that we should have NO expectations. I mean, for example, speaking hypothetically here, if you've just finished a soccer match with a guy and you're on the bus heading back to your respective homes, you've been talking for fifteen or twenty minutes, and, hypothetically speaking, your friend is bleeding out the corner of his mouth and doesn't seem to realize this, then I think, and this is just my opinion here and my be biased by my Southern upbringing, but for me, personally, I think I would be expected to tell my friend that he has some blood coming out the side of his mouth and getting into his red beard. But then again, I may be putting too many expectations on people. Good thing it's just a hypothetical situation....

But on a more serious note, tomorrow is Thanksgiving Day and I want to say what I am thankful for this year. First of all, I am thankful for the eternally amazing blessing it is to know the one, true, living God. I am thankful that even in my sin, God loved me, and sent his son to die on the cross. I thank my God for being merciful to me. I am also thankful for the opportunity to serve him here. It is a hard place sometimes and it is definitely a hard language, but I would not trade this experience for the whole world. I am being refined daily, forced to walk in faith. I am thankful to be able to be his ambassador to a lost world. I am also thankful the wonderful family and friends I have been blessed with. I don't have space to list everyone, and I hate to hurt anyone's feelings, but I have to throw a few names out that for one reason or another, have been especially dear to me recently. Gouge is the best friend a guy could have. Thanks for the emails and the few, but wonderful phone conversations. Paul you challenge me with your openness and your ability to be real with people. I hope that the Lord blesses all that you do with that PhD and that girl in seminary. Alan, thanks for sending the jacket man. I hope your pack of wild kids grows up to be half as cool as you and Adair are. Allison, if my roommate hadn't have been home tonight, I would've cried, and I'm serious about that. Thank you for that box of goodies. If you were here, I'd give you the biggest hug you've ever been given. Lane, everytime you get back from one of your trips I'm a little more jealous. Keep living the life. Jessica, thanks for being open and honest, willing to be real in front of people and in front of God. And last, but certainly not least, I am thankful for the family I have been given here. Whether it's the Vs or the Cs or the family I've been given at the church, I've felt just as at home here as I have anywhere in the world. I've been accepted as just another son by the V family and can't tell you how much of a blessing they have been to me these first few months here. To have a place that feels like home, where I can be challenged and loved, makes this move so much easier. I can't imagine trying to make this adjustment without them here.

Since Thanksgiving is such an American holiday, nothing has changed here. This is just like June the 17th or September 21st to these people (those are the two most random dates I could come up with). Though this is my third straight Thanksgiving away from home, it still feels weird to be in a place that has absolutely no concept of it being "the holiday season." But, thankfully, there are some Americans here that will celebrate this holiday in style. Tomorrow night the V family is having myself, another single foriegner, and a few single Turks over for a nice meal. It ought to be a great family time for us and a great opportunity to explain what the holiday is all about to some people deeply in need of the truth. Then Friday evening, the extended family (read: a lot of the foriegners in town) is getting together for another Thanksgiving meal. This ought to be a great time of fellowship with people that on a weekly basis, I don't spend a whole lot of time with.

So enjoy your pecan pies, your cornbread, and your big, fat, juicy Butterball turkeys (all things that we won't have here) and thank God for what we have been given. As Christians, we should be the most thankful people on Earth!

You're not a foreigner!

At least that's the comment two different people made last night at the wedding reception. Let me explain.

First of all, we had church at the international fellowship since our pastor was getting married. I didn't want to go home between the church service and the wedding, so I wore my jacket and little bowtie to church. One of the local girls told me I was very "şirin." For those of you who don't understand the local slang, that means, according to my dictionary, "sweet, affable, cute, charming." I'll take it. There are some things that transcend cultures. Apparently myself in a bowtie is one of them.

Then there was the wedding which, forgive me for saying so, was just as boring as every other wedding I've ever been to. I think it's safe to say that for most guys, unless it's one of your very best friends, or your own, then weddings just don't do a lot for us. If anything, they're kind of downers. On the one hand you have to the desire to be with a beautiful bride of your own and on the other you have the sadness of knowing that you won't be seeing much of that guy anymore. But I will stop before I get myself in some really hot water.

So it was on to the reception. It was very different from what you'd expect out of a conservate Christian wedding in the South. First of all, they have a custom of having the bride and groom dancing the typical local dance to the typical local music, while men from the crowd come out to the dance floor and throw money at them. Then there's the time of wrapping the bride and groom in strips of cloth and allowing people to pin money to them. Very different for sure.

But by far the best part was the dancing. Turkish dancing is much easier for the guys and much harder for the girls. First of all, the guys just hold their hands out in front of them like they're ready to give someone a big hug, and they snap. While they are doing this, they just kind of move their hips from side to side. Really quite easy, thankfully. On the other hand, the women really have to work. I don't think you'd consider it "belly dancing" but it requires a lot of the same types of movements. This dancing went on for hours, and they probably only played 3 different songs. It was the same beat, the same rhythym for the most part, for hours straight. And we danced. We danced so well that one of my buddy's sister told me that I danced better than her brother. One of the other girls piped up and said, "You are not a foreigner, you're a Turk!" Well, I said in reply, "I'm very white for a Turk."

But I can't tell you that the dancing was fun without telling you about THE dance. Where I really shined last night. They took a break from the usual middle eastern sounding beat to play a rather slow song. Everybody was pairing up and heading to the floor. Usually at this point, I grab a drink of water and a seat and try to catch my breath. But this time, I looked over, and seated at a table across the room was one of the two Korean girls from church. Her friend Sunshine had been snatched up by my buddy the Shark and she was at the table with a couple other church girls, but sitting by herself just watching. Well, I thought about it for a second, then I reminded myself that, "they don't call me C-Love for nothing." So I stood up, straightened my shirt, and walked across the room to her table. I stood politely by her chair while she took a drink of water and when she turned to look at me, I bowed deeply at the waist, gave her a coy look and a sly grin, and politely offered my right hand. I didn't have to say a word and she couldn't. She just took my hand and we quietly found ourselves swaying to the music under the soft light of the disco ball. Somewhere I heard someone whisper, "Well, an enchanted moment."

And in completely unrelated news, the police are looking for me. Supposedly it's normal procedure anytime a foreigner requests a visa. They've asked our buildings doorman and, today, they asked my boss. Maybe I'll be blessed enough to meet with them soon.

Random Thoughts for the Bye Week

Since Clemson doesn't play this weekend, I thought I'd spend a little of this free time by throwing out some random thoughts I've been having lately. Some of them are serious, some are not, and none of them match. But since I have some time and thought you'd all get a kick out of this, here it goes.

First of all, I hate politics. I know that as a citizen, I have the responsibility to care about my government. I should vote and make my voice heard. The government is supposed to be by and for the people. I know all that stuff. But these past elections came and went without me even noticing. It's not because I'm overseas either. I didn't vote in the last presidential election when I was living in the States. Why? Because I am not impressed with the canidates that get nominated and honestly, I don't know enough or care enough to make an educated decision. When I get back to the States, I will do my part, I will learn what I can to make a good decision, and come the time, I will vote. But I refuse to "get into" politics. It's just too stressful for me.

Which brings me to my second thought. As Christians, we should be able to live together, work together, and love one another, despite political and even theological differences. I love theology as much as anyone, and think it's a vital part of any Christians life. We should know what we believe and what we don't believe. As a Christian, everyone has a theology, it's just that some are more thought out and fuller than others. And I love having theological discussions, even though they can be just as, if not more, heated than political discussions. But here's the kicker. When it all boils down to it, we're all on the same team. We're all fighting the same fight. Whether you believe in predestination or free will, the angelic languages or known languages, hymns or modern praise music, I don't care. As long as we're preaching Jesus as Lord, let's work it out. I know there are some essentials that we must agree upon, but we must be able to live with the fact that people will not always agree with us on the non-essentials. And you know what, they're not supposed to! When Paul was faced with this question, of what to do with people who have come to different convictions on an issue, he responded with, "One person regards one day above another, another regards every day alike. LET EACH ONE BE CONVINCED IN HIS OWN MIND." If you believe something is wrong, it is wrong for you. But that may not mean that it is wrong for someone else. Have convictions, know what you believe, but don't try to pressure others into believing the same thing if they have come to a different conclusion. And for those of you being pressured, forgive your brothers and sisters and let us all live in peace. We are to prove we are His disciples by the love we have for one another. Let's get to it.

If I was going to form my own country, I would throw Dickey Betts, John Fogerty, and the Marshall Tucker Band in a studio together to write my national anthem. I love the Allman Brothers Band sound. Dickey's guitar work is amazing. He is credited as the main writer for "Jessica," "In Memory of Elizabeth Reed," and "Blue Sky," which are some of the sweetest sounding songs your ears will ever hear. Fogerty, though harsher sounding, is just as good. His lyrics really speak about life in the South. And the Marshal Tucker Band is most assuredly the greatest band to have come out of South Carolina (sorry Hootie). It takes real guts to try and make it in the South with a flute in the band, but they pulled it off. "Can't You See" is one of the saddest songs I know of and "Heard it in a Love Song" is one of the nicest. Whenever I hear that flute rise up sharply, I am taken back to memories of riding through Kershaw County with their greatest hits in the cassette player, the radio up as loud as it would go, and every window in the Blazer rolled down. That's home.

And last but not least. I am tired of talking about girls (nothing personal to all my girl SPACE friends out there). To watch the guys around here drool over every attractive girl that walks by is very frustrating. I promise you that half of every conversation I have with a guy here has something to do with a girl. It's really getting old. Like I have said many times, we are not promised wives, we are not commanded to marry. Let us focus on the things we have been commanded to do and hope for the things we have been promised. Then, if God does bring a woman into your life, you can be truly thankful for the BLESSING you've been given, instead of feeling like you have finally found meaning in your life. There is more to this life than getting married guys! I will praise my Father and thank him endlessly if I am blessed to marry a wonderful Christian wife, but I do not think I deserve it, and I do not think I NEED it in order to live a happy and fulfilling life. Get over it guys.

There's supposed to be a really nice meteor shower tonight, so if the city lights and smog doesn't block your view like it probably will mine, I hope you will venture outside and enjoy the show. I am a nerd when it comes to stuff like this, but I really enjoy laying out and watching meteor showers. God's natural fireworks display. Have a great weekend!

I'm in!

That's right, I got the visa. It really was that easy. I JUST walked in, said hey to the man at the counter, he smiled, opened a safe, and out popped my pretty little visa. I'm set until November of 2008.

Other exciting news is that I had a big fat juicy T-bone for dinner, along with a delicious baked potato, and a nice salad with a big glass of sweet tea. To top it all off, we had a chocolate cake served up with some very good chocolate ice cream. The occassion? Tom Tom's birthday! The little guy turned 8 (I think) and we had a big dinner with cake and ice cream for him. I think they're having another little party for him, and for the neighbors, on Saturday, but tonight was for "the family," which I am proud to say, includes me now. He did seem to like the headlamp I got him, and is as anxious as ever to go camping.

And finally, since everybody and their stinking brother has MSN Messenger here, I now have Messenger on my computer. If you too have it, and want to add me to your list, just ask. Have a great weekend!

Here's the little bugger that cost me so much money and caused me so much anxiety.




PS- Bekar means single, so don't worry ladies, there's still hope. (wink!)

Rub a Dub Dub, No Water in the Tub

So this morning I wake up around 9, as usual, and stumble into the bathroom to brush my teeth and take the morning pee, the same way I do every morning. I have my pee, flush, and get the toothbrush ready to fight my morning breath. I just turn the water on slightly to avoid knocking my toothpaste off the top of the bristles. Sometimes our faucet can really shoot that water out and this new toothpaste I bought likes to just sit on top of the brush instead of clinging to the bristles. It may have something to do with the cold too, since my tube is hard as a rock in the mornings and the paste comes out in a perfect cylinder shape everytime. But anyway, I brush and brush and brush and when my mouth starts to taste clean again, I spit. I'm done, just wash away the left overs of last nights drool from my toothbrush and get on with my day. I turn on the faucet and nothing comes out. I turn it off and back on again. The only thing that comes out of the faucest is a low growl that kind of sounds like an angry cat or maybe a high pitched empty stomach. Either way, it wasn't water. So my sink is filled with toothpaste foam and crumbs of last night's supper. The worst part of all, and maybe the most surprising, is that I was actually going to shower this morning. Oh well.



**UPDATE**
So after I posted the above about the water not working, I did some reading and had a nice lunch. I tried to kitchen sink after I ate and sure nuff, the water was working. So I grabbed my towel and my new underwear and headed to the shower. It was such a nice warm shower too. UNTIL, the power went out. Funny stuff. I get the water back and lose the power. Luckily I was thinking quick enough to move the shower head before the water turned icy cold. Unluckily I had just soaped up a good portion of my body, including some unmentionables, that did enjoy being rinsed with the ice water.

The power was still out when I came home, but my neighbors was not. I didn't really know what to do, since our "breaker box" is really just four switches behind our door and all of them were still in the on position. So I cooked dinner and read some by the light of my headlamp. When it became obvious that my roommate wasn't coming straight home from work tonight, I called the Boss to see what I should do. He told me that there's usually another breaker outside the apartment, just on the wall where anybody can mess with it, and that I should find it and if that didn't work, I would have to find our super. Well, sure enough, the one switch up on the wall outside the apartment was switched off. Either some little kid heard me in the shower and wanted to pull a prank or today was just not my day.

PS- I go tomorrow to pick up my visa. I JUST have to walk in and get it. "JUST"

Score One for the Home Team!

Well, about to be the home team. Thursday's trip went much smoother. I walked in and threw my paperwork down and was helped almost immediately. As I struggled through the conversation in Turkish, a man standing next to me offered to translate for me. When I told him I had a biology degree, his face lit up, as he was a micro-biology professor at the local university. I couldn't understand everything he said to the man behind the counter, but it definitely sounded like he was pleading my case for me. It was great. God provided. I was only in there for a little over an hour, paid my dues, and was told to come back next Thursday to pick it up. So maybe this time next week, I'll be set for the next two years.

The other major news from this first part of the weekend is that I went to a coffee house thing that some people put on here in town for Turks wanting to practice their English. I walked in to the room and there were maybe 7 or 8 Turks scattered around with the 5 or 6 Americans I knew there. I gave out a "Good Evening" in Turkish and found me a seat. Later, one of the Turks was talking to me and told me that when I walked in, he thought I was a Turk. He said I looked just like the typical Turkish university student and when I greeted them in Turkish, he just knew for sure I was a Turk. I almost hugged the guy, which would've been quite culturally inappropriate. It was the best compliment I have received since I've been here.

Oh, and the Tigers play in about 7 hours. We will win tonight dang it. I refuse to lose to Chuck Amato. Go Tigers!!!

You JUST go in there and hand them this...

Riiiiiiiight.

The "J" word is starting to sound more like a cuss word to me everyday. I get a chill everytime I hear it. I know that there's going to be trouble to follow.

So Monday I took out the last bit of the money from the bank and typed up the letter that I need to take with me to get my visa. All I had to do Tuesday morning was go to Rod's house, print out the letter, and head on downtown, where'd I'd copy my passport, exchange my dollars for lira, and go to the visa office. Well I left my house sometime between 9:30 and 10, and got to Rod's a little after 10. Wouldn't you know it, but between my house and Rod's, the power decided to just quit working. So me and Rod and Tom Tom had a nice little conversation that lasted the entire hour and a half the power was out. We went to a cafe to get some lunch and I gave up on trying to get to the visa office. The treasurer leaves at 2, and there was no way I was getting there before two. So I just exchanged my money and got my photocopies and got ready to go today.

So Today I got up a little after 8 and had a shower and a cup of coffee, so that I'd be wide awake and ready to go when I arrived at the visa office. I spent a little time reading and left around 9:30. I arrived at the visa office about 10:15 or 10:30 and spread all my beautiful paperwork out on the counter. Almost two hours later I was still standing at that counter. It wasn't until just before noon that they told me that the boss wasn't there and that he would be back at 1. So I left to get some lunch, already frustrated and mildly angry. As a side note, during lunch I found a little shop with some really cool looking scarves, but the woman wouldn't sell me one. I couldn't understand why and I just got more frustrated and angry. So I get back to the office a few minutes after one and the boss still isn't there. They tell me he is coming and I go sit outside in the chilly air. A few minutes before two, when the treasurer leaves, I went in to see what was going on. If I didn't see the boss before the treasurer left, I couldn't pay today and therefore, would be delayed another day. Well, as I expected, the boss wasn't there. It's not that they didn't know WHEN he was coming, they didn't know IF he was coming. SO, after spending four hours in this place, I was told to come back around 9 or 10 in the morning and the boss would be there.

So Tomorrow, I will try again. I would appreciate some prayers as you read this. There is no doubt in my mind that I will be questioned tomorrow. That is why they had to wait on the boss, he's the one who asks all the questions. Pray that things go smoothly, that I will keep my integrity, and that I won't give away information that I will regret giving away.

It's all about the Benjamins baby!

Well, the Benjamins and the Grants.

That's right, I currently have a stack of six thousand American dollars on my desk in the form of forty one hundred dollar bills and twenty fifty dollar bills. Now before you start thinking I joined my friends from yesterday, let me explain.

To get a two year tourist visa, I have to prove that I can support myself during that time. To the Turkish government, that means that I have to have two hundred American dollars for every month I want to stay. For those of you who didn't graduate from Clemson, that means for a two year visa, I'll need $4800. On top of needing that money, I need almost a thousand dollars to actually purchase the visa. So, with all that in mind, the company kindly slid me a few Gs last week and I promptly took them from my bank account. I've never, ever, had this much money in my account, and never have I ever even seen this much money at one time in person. Life sure has taken a turn for the strange lately.

So tomorrow is my second trip to the visa office. Step one is to go change this money into Turkish Lira. I need the receipt of my exchange to prove I have the money here in country. Step two is to make copies of my passport, entry visa, and bank receipts. Step three is to take the copies, my receipt, and the letter I am writing tonight (in Turkish) requesting to stay in the country to the visa office. There I will complete steps four, five, and six. Step four is to complete a short form (in Turkish) with my personal information for while I'm here. Step five is not a given, but I'm guessing that it will probably happen. Step five is to field even more questions about why I am wanting to stay here, what will I do here, who do I know here, etc. If all that goes well, it's on to step six, which is to actually pay for my visa. Step seven will be to go pick it up, probably early next week.

Please pray that all of this goes well and that no matter what happens, I will glorify Christ in my words and actions.

And since I don't know if I'll ever have this much money in my hand ever again, I took a picture of it, so I can remember what it felt like to be rich for a night.

Life Continues in Bizarro World

Man, I'd love to tell you guys about all the great times in my travels, but life here is just too exciting to ignore.

First of all, for whatever reason, I got dressed up today for church. Usually I look decent, but today it was cold, which meant I needed to wear a long sleeve shirt under a sweater to be comfortable. So since I was going to be wearing all that anyways, I figured I ought to make the best of it. My amazing sense of style was accented even more by the fact that it seemed like pretty much everybody else in church kind of took the day off when it comes to dressing nice. Usually I look like the bum of the group, but today I was the star, and to prove it, I have included a picture. Feel free to heap your praises on as you see fit.



BUT, if that was the most exciting thing that had happened today, I wouldn't even bother writing. There is more. After listening to a sermon covering the first few Ten Commandments, and actually understanding a good bit of it, the pastor, my roomate, the White Guy, the Shark, a girl from church, and myself were walking to the bus stop. We were talking and having a great time when I heard a crash. I looked over in time to see four teenagers break a car window, steal a bag from the backseat, and take off for the street. Well, like any good Samaritan (or ex-Game Warden), we all gave chase. My buddy Hasan cleared the fence in the middle of the road first and got one of the guys. One other gave up when it became apparent that we had them. The other two got away. We called the cops and when they came, the pastor and my roommate went with them to give a report. On the way to the station, they just happened to catch the other two guys. Apparently they didn't come too peacefully and my roomate gave one of the a nice side angle kick to the middle thorax. For those of you who haven't been to the police academy, that means that he kicked the crap out of the guy right in the gut!

In a stroke of irony, my roomate met a cop at the station that had worked his case back when he was beaten and left for dead. He ended up being able to share with quite a few cops while they were there.

Anyway, I included a portion of my conversation with the thief. It's kind of a loose translation, but you'll get the idea.

Thief: You can't get 'em all, Chris.
Me: That's a fact.
Thief: How come you're doing this, then?
Me: Because I ain't got nothin' better to do.

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

What has happened in this world!? Two weeks ago we were blowing away Georgia Tech and getting all the love ESPN had to give. We were called "the best one loss team in the nation." Since?

We were flat out embarassed in Blacksburg last weekend by Virginia Tech and we just lost a game to Maryland that I can not believe. First of all, we had over 400 yards of offense. We did not turn the ball over at all. We only had one penalty. BUT, we also did not have a TD all game.

Maryland kicked a FG on the last play of the game to beat us by 1. Un-freakin-believable.

I'm going to go stand out on a ledge for a few minutes.

Orientation/Vacation Part 1

As you can all see, I haven't posted in over two weeks. The main reason for that is the fact that I've been traveling for most of that two weeks. We had a three day "orientation" in Istanbul. It was a great time to fellowship with some old friends and to see some of the city. From there I took a few days to tour Cappadocia with an old friend named Yeshu. We also took a day trip down to Tarsus while he was here. I'll try to post some things about the last couple weeks over the next few days to kind of give you an idea of what I saw and did. I'm also working on finding a place to post all these pictures I have of the last few weeks, so keep your eye open for that. We'll start with my time in Istanbul.

Here’s my thoughts on the three major sites I saw in Istanbul in order of when I visited them.

1. Sultan Ahmet Camii or, in English, the Blue Mosque. I was surprised at how it was ran. First of all, I know it’s a mosque. And I know it’s a major tourist area. I guess it just never connected in my mind that it was both at the same time. There were herds of people going in the whole time we were there. Everyone was noisy and just standing around looking at and taking pictures of the beautiful tile work that covers every inch of the walls and ceiling. That I expected. But also, you couldn’t wear your shoes inside. And on top of that, there was a roped off area for people to go pray. Again, I expected that, but the mixing of the two, large groups of foreign tourists and devout, praying Muslims, never occurred to me. Honestly, it didn’t stop me from talking or from taking pictures of anything. But at the same time, my desire to be respectful to the people I am trying to reach made me feel a bit uncomfortable.

I will say that the tiles were magnificent. I had read and seen pictures of the tile work and thought that it looked okay, but wasn’t really impressed. It was only when I saw the scale of it, with thousands of these floral arrangements painted all over the inside of the massive building, that I truly understood the reason everyone praises the place. It really was pretty on the inside and worth the trouble of taking off your shoes to go in and see it.

2. Ayasofia or Haggia Sophia or, in English, known as the Church of the Holy Wisdom. Man what a place. You walk in the huge iron door into what would be the “sanctuary” and it is almost overwhelming. If the Blue Mosque is big, this thing is HUGE. It really was larger than life. It just stopped me in my tracks with the sheer height of the ceiling. And yes, I know there are tall buildings everywhere, but I don’t know too many tall buildings built in 537 AD! It really is an architectural wonder that this massive, domed building could be built as long ago as it was.

But once you recover from the shock of how big it is, it is kind of disappointing after that. Not disappointing because there are no cool things to see, but disappointing because you just know that it was simply out of this world before. But when the Ottomans came, they either destroyed it or plastered over it. Luckily, they didn’t destroy everything, and even the plaster helped preserve some stuff, but it only retains a fraction of the beauty it once had. But overall the place was absolutely stunning. A must see.

3. Kariya Kilise. I’m not sure what that means in English and I’m too lazy to go look it up right now, but it’s another church that was converted to a mosque by the Ottomans and then into what is now, a museum. This was, to me, the coolest of the three. It doesn’t have the size that the first two have, but what it lacks in size, it makes up for in volume. There are more frescoes and mosaics crammed into this small church than there were in the Ayasofia. Much like the Ayasofia, some of these were destroyed and all were plastered over, but thankfully, they have weathered the years much better.

The best thing about this little church is trying to figure out what all the scenes are. There were a few tour groups paying someone to tell them what they were, but the best part of the whole thing to me was trying to remember all those New Testament stories and trying to figure out which ones were being represented in the artwork. The mosaics were absolutely amazing and it gave me my first glance of the frescoes that I would see more of in Cappadocia. An added bonus to this museum was that it was just a few blocks from the old city wall, which I promptly climbed with my buddy Josh. It gave us a nice view of the peninsula. This was the best 10 lira I have spent in this country.